Baby 101: The crying game

If you have a baby, you have to be prepared for crying. While the amount varies widely, all babies need to cry. It's the way they communicate, the way they get the attention they need. Although it can be very frustrating to deal with a howling infant, it can help to know that your baby's tears fit some well-defined patterns. The patterns are remarkably consistent in all countries and all cultures around the world.

In the first three months, a baby will cry more than she will for the rest of her life. The amount of crying steadily increases, peaking at an average of three hours a day around six to eight weeks of age. But the period of crying time can vary from one hour to most of the day and still be within the typical range. Most of the crying takes place in the afternoon and evening, typically between 4 p.m. and midnight.

People once thought babies cried more in the late afternoon and evening because the mother was anxious or the father came home from work feeling stressed. Some claimed that mothers responded too readily to their babies during the day, which "spoiled" them and caused more crying at night.

Now the most widely accepted theory is that newborns have a built-in ability to screen out noises and sights from the world to ensure they get the rest they need. As their nervous systems develop, that screening ability begins to weaken, usually disappearing at about six weeks of age. Babies become more sensitive to the world around them and react in the only way they know how -- by crying. Babies do most of their crying in the evening because that's what they are programmed to do.

Although babies tend to follow a set pattern, they usually cry for a good reason. Babies cry to tell you if they are hungry or thirsty, if they are too hot or too cold, if they are tired or frustrated, or if they have a dirty diaper. And the sound of their cry changes, depending on what the infant needs. Parents are remarkably quick to learn how to interpret these cries. Here are some of the most common types with suggestions for dealing with them.

Hunger
The most common cause of crying in the early months is hunger. The hunger cry is rhythmic, persistent and demanding. Hungry babies may also suck on their fingers or hands. The only way to stop the cry is to feed the baby, either from the breast or the bottle.

Pain
This cry is more urgent, louder, and higher-pitched than the hunger cry. The baby will seem very distressed and might scream or shriek. There will often be long gaps in the screaming during which the baby seems to be holding his breath. The source of the trouble could include gas pains, teething, earaches, or even an accidental prick with a safety pin. Check for the source of the pain first and deal with it immediately. Changing a diaper, burping the baby, or making sure he is warm enough may be all that's needed. Picking up the baby and comforting him will soon bring an end to this kind of crying, once the pain goes away.

Boredom
Babies need lots of stimulation and, when they don't get it, they'll let you know. The boredom cry is low and rhythmical, full of sobs and moans. The only cure is to pick your baby up and play with her. Don't be afraid of spoiling her or starting a bad habit of demanding your attention. Attention and stimulation are basic needs, just as much as feeding is. The result of one fascinating study points this out clearly. Researchers changed half of a group of babies using clean diapers. With the other half, they removed each soiled diaper, but put it back on again. The babies in both groups stopped crying and seemed happy. The lesson? Handling and paying attention to a baby is a powerful method of dealing with his unhappiness.

Other causes
Sometimes babies cry because the parents get the timing wrong. A baby who is just about to nod off to sleep will not appreciate your efforts at play and stimulation. Cuddling will work a lot better. Try to avoid giving him a bath while he's tired, or changing his diaper if he's very hungry. Let the baby tell you when he is ready.

Many babies object to having their clothes removed. With practice you will get faster at changing the baby's clothes and reduce the amount of time he is unhappy. As he gets a little older, the act of undressing him will cease making the baby anxious.

It's common for babies to suddenly jerk themselves awake, just when you are sure they're finally drifting off to sleep. A baby's undeveloped nervous system makes sudden jerks and twitches very common. If it happens a lot, some experts suggest swaddling the child -- wrapping him snugly in blankets -- to keep him from jerking his arms or legs and waking himself. Some authorities do not agree with the practice. The best advice is to make sure your baby is comfortable and to see how he reacts to swaddling, if he has a tendency to jerk his blankets off during his sleep.

Certainly it's important to keep newborns warm -- after nine months in the warm confines of the womb, they find it a bit of a shock to adjust to the big, cold world. Keep the room warm for bath times, and make sure the baby is wearing enough to be comfortable, but do not overdo it. The latest research indicates that keeping a baby too hot may be a contributing factor to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Illness
Sometimes crying will indicate that your baby is sick. Here are a few of the warning signs to watch for: fever, flushing, listlessness, loss of appetite, unusual thirst, a loose or foul-smelling stool, glassy or watery eyes, and vomiting. The crying can be sharp and loud or weak and whining. The baby can be unusually sweaty or have an unexplained rash. Normally alert babies might start sleeping more than usual. These symptoms may occur alone or in any combination. Be especially alert if the baby's temperature reaches the fever mark or higher -- that mark varies with the means of taking the temperature. Certainly, if you suspect something is wrong, contact your doctor.

Cutting down on crying
Although you cannot influence your baby's built-in crying pattern, you can do something about the duration of that crying. Dozens of studies over the years show that babies like motion. It's probably a result of being rocked in the womb as the mother moves and walks. Being carried in a sling on the mother's or father's body is the best kind of motion. Carrying also provides other comforts: warmth, body contact, exposure to a variety of sights and sounds and, in front packs, easy access to mother's breast.

There is plenty of evidence that babies who are carried often are babies who cry less. One Montreal study of infants in the first three months of life found that those who were carried a minimum of three hours a day cried two hours less than infants who were carried the typical amount of time in a normal day.

A quick response to your child's tears has also been proven to be effective. Studies have shown that when parents make a point of responding quickly and consistently, babies find other ways of expressing themselves. Of course, some friends and relatives won't approve. For years, people believed that a baby who got too much attention would begin to manipulate his parents. But now there is evidence that, for very young children, a speedy response may build a feeling of security. While it may seem like more work for the new parents, their reward may be less crying later on in their child's life. Don't worry if sometimes you cannot respond right away. Just try to be as consistent as you can.

Ron Barr of the Montreal Children's Hospital describes the "caregiving package" (a complex of calming behaviours) of the Kung San, a group of hunter-gatherers in central Botswana. Their care of newborns provides an example of the positive results of carrying infants and responding quickly. The mothers carry their infants all the time in an upright position in a sling strapped to their bodies. The babies are surrounded by a wide range of noises and smells and are able to see what's going on around them. They are also able to breast-feed every 10 to 15 minutes and any cry or whimper elicits a response. The observation that, in a typical day, the babies cry 50 per cent less than the average Canadian baby suggests that carrying infants and responding quickly to their cries has positive effects for children. No one knows if it's the carrying that does the trick or if it's the sum total of all the caregiving tactics.

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