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Catman? Photo, courtesy of chrisdlugosz

Cat guys get a hard time. Cat's aren't especially manly pets, and that tends to (unfairly) reflect on the owners. They're not "man's best friend" and they don't have that kind of manly duty of defending hearth and home (not that I've ever actually seen a dog do that, unless you count giving the mailman a hard time, or running into the front hall when someone on TV rings a doorbell). Worse, I've heard from more than a few women that they look with a weird kind of suspicion on single men who own cats.

I'm not cat person particularly (I'm allergic, and so they seem magnetically drawn to my stuffed-up face), but as the owner of a not-very-manly small white fluffy dog, I can empathize with guys who happen to have a potentially emasculating feline pet. So I thought I might share this video, that I dug up over on The Cat Blog.

The amount of swooning that any of you female readers do or don't do over the guy in the video is entirely at your discretion. But he's certainly a "real man" (whatever that means) and he appears to have a pet cat. It's part of the Much Love Animal Rescue's "It's Okay to be a Cat Guy" campaign.

Maybe man just got himself a second best friend.

It's official: letting your pet sleep in your bed is a bad idea. Don't believe me? Well, I've got the science to back me up . Turns out sleeping with your furry friend can expose you to all kinds of medical bother including meningitis and toxocariasis, which sounds downright nasty.

But I don't think obscure health concerns are the main issue, here. Call me a cynic, but beds are for people; I remember buying mine, and there weren't any dogs in the store testing twin mattresses, checking pillow softness or debating headboard designs. The dogs were outside, sleeping very happily on the sidewalk. As they should be.

And it's not like I make my dog, Bubs, sleep out on the sidewalk, of course. He actually has a bed, a comfy little number my sister gave my girlfriend and I when we got him. (See the picture, and please note how extremely cosy it all looks, with the blanket and pillow.) Having grown up with dogs that slept outside or in crates on another floor of the house from the bedrooms, I'm of the opinion that Bubs should be happy with his little set-up beside the bed. But he's not. He's an attention hog, and hates being left out – Bubs is a dog that cannot brook closed doors in his house – so he roams around the bed looking for an invitation up.

It's our fault, Agnes and I: we've taken to letting him on the bed in mornings, as a kind of compromise. It's gone to his head, and now he's not happy sleeping anywhere else. (more...)

This is a question that I've been forced to grapple with because, against all expectations I once had, I now find myself the owner of the kind of little dog that, well, might just need clothes. For the record, I'm mostly against clothes for dogs – I tend to think that they come wrapped in all the clothing they need – but I realize that exceptions need to be made. (more...)

I remember how much I loved snow when I was a kid. It was like a huge toy had just fallen from the sky, and I would be sadly remiss if I didn't take full advantage.

These days it's just more annoying than anything else, which is kind of sad, really. That's why I would pay money – lots* of money – to get half as excited by snow as my dog Bobo.

(Thanks to my girlfriend, Agnes, for the video.)

*Note: I don't actually have "lots" of money, in case anyone is actually ready and willing to sell winter enthusiasm.

After first seeing this video, I wanted desperately for my dog to be able to do half the stuff that little Jack Russell can do. Imagine: You wake up to a freshly fetched paper, a tidied home and a friendly little pup; then you get home from work and dog takes your coat off, pops in a movie and does the dishes. "It's like having a little furry butler!" I said. "What could be better?!"

On second thought, however, I realized that I would very quickly devolve: a) some sort of evil genius, using my hyperintelligent dog to do my bidding; or b) a useless sloth, incapable of doing anything for myself and unmotivated to try. The apathy would likely infect the dog, too, as I'd be too wasted away to bother reaching for his reward treats. Consider this a likely model for how things would go.

But, still, it would be great for a while, wouldn't it?

A quick note for today: It may be a pain to remember to regularly brush your dog’s teeth (though it's important to know how to do it properly) or take care of your’s cat’s chompers, but at least you don ’t have to do this.

“Is this food? I’ll check." That's how dogs think – I'm convinced of it.

Oh yes, our pet dogs may be cute and furry, they may have impeccable manners and sweet dispositions, but make no mistake, beneath the well-coiffed exterior of even the most innocuous-looking teacup poodle lurks an unstoppable eating machine. Socks, furniture, TV remotes, door-to-door salesmen – it's all on the menu for our canine companions, who live in a constant and barely restrained state of temptation to taste everything.

Take Sophie, a basset hound in Colorado Springs, Colo. Apparently Sophie devoured no less than 31 nails, her own rabies tag and a chunk of siding – all in one sitting. That's just amazing. There's a certain kind of steady dedication in that that I can't help but admire a little bit. Granted, its a dedication to doing something monumentally stupid, but bassets aren't known for their keen intelligence. Sophie's fine now, thankfully, with the help of a vet who was probably a bit shocked when he/she expected to look at X-ray and saw a photograph of hardware store.

None of my dogs have ever been so ambitions, but I’ve seen a few interesting things disappear down the doggie gullet. Rocky, a collie/mutt my parents got just before I was born, showed a keen canine sense of irony by gobbling up – and getting very sick over – a plastic hospital bracelet she rummaged out of the trash.

Photo: TheGiantVermin

When, Toby, another of my family’s sadly departed pooches, went through a period of devouring whole bushes, some neighbours suggested we lace the soil with Tabasco sauce. In theory it would sting Toby out of her digging. In practice, she ate huge amounts of the spicy dirt – and paid dearly for it when, uhh, things made their way out the other end.

Since my girlfriend and I have had Bobo – our inherited Bichon Frise – he’s been pretty lax about munching on things: He’s too small to reach up onto tables, and his little mouth can’t really come to grips with the bigger things he’s probably got an eye on. That said, before he came to live with us it seems one Christmas he devoured a nativity scene, Jesus and all. That’s probably bad karma, but it’s less of a risk than eating one of my girlfriend's shoes, so it’s good he’s ditched the habit.

I’d love to hear your I-can-laugh-about-it-now stories of the odd and unlikely things your pups have munched down. But be sure to include the happy ending – no one likes a story where the dog isn’t safe by the end.

The other day I posted a few ideas for makeshift dog toys. But it’s not just dogs, of course, that love it when household items become their personal playthings. I'm not a cat owner, but a quick survey around the office confirmed that our feline friends are very easy to please with a whole bunch of stuff most of us have around the house. Here's a few favourite ways to keep your cat occupied on a lazy afternoon – and they won't cost a thing.

The plastic straw
Just fold a plastic drinking straw (and be eco-friendly and grab a used one: the cat won’t mind) into a small clump, squeeze it tight and drop it onto the floor in front of Mittens. When the straw begins to unfold itself, your cat will be hooked. (Just make sure your cat confines himself to swatting and chewing, and doesn’t start eating.)

Photo: jinterwas

The paper bag
A kitty classic, and just about the easiest “toy” around. Just drop a used paper bag (preferably one that’s bigger than your cat) on the floor, and he’ll instantly know what to do (which, for some reason, is nearly always “climb into bag. Peep out suspiciously"). Job done. Just, y'know, check if the cat's still in there if you go to recycle the bag later on.

The cardboard box
The same idea as the paper bag, really, playing on your cat’s instinct to climb into things. Bonus: Having a new box around might keep your kitty out of your clean laundry hamper. Maybe. Wondering how fun it can be when cat meets cardboard? Check out this video of Maru, a Japanese cat whose antics have made him a YouTube sensation.

The flashlight or laser pointer
This is a bit more involved for you (i.e., you're more involved that just putting a bag on the floor), but if you want in on the playing, you can lead your cat on an hours-long chase of that oh-so-enticing circle of light as it dances across the floor, couch and wall. Since you control this little game, keep a keen mind on how willing your cat is to plow through lamps/picture frames/small children in pursuit of his prey. And beware kitty's wrath if he ever figures out you've been behind this endless chase.

Watching my dog chase a balloon around the house, or chew happily on a stick for hours on end, I’ve come to question the wisdom of spending money on pet toys. Part of me understands: you love the little guy and want to spoil him, and besides – it’s a toy for you, too. But another part of me knows full well that dogs don’t really distinguish between, well, “toys” and “garbage,” and would be just as happy playing with something you had lying around the house.

Photo: ginnerobot

With that in mind, I’ve cobbled together a list of tried-and-true DIY dog toys. No assembly required.

The empty plastic bottle

Dogs lose their minds for these. Just screw the cap on an empty 660 mL or 2 L (depending on the size of dog) bottle, and watch the fur fly. Cheap water bottles make a crunching noise when chewed, so they’ll be munched on happily for hours. Sturdier soda bottles tend to

escape grasping mouths and skitter away erratically – meaning they’re that wonderful kind of toy that the dog can play with by himself – and they’re great for a playful-yet-harmless bop on the backside.

Like any toy, of course, keep in mind your pet’s propensity to eat, rather than enjoy.

The old towel

It’s a time-tested standby, and no dog can resist a tug-of-war with an old towel. Just remember that once that towel hits the floor, it’s not yours anymore: dogs of all sizes tend to adopt their towel as a security blanket, and will carry it around the house until it's in shreds.

Photo: jaybergesen

Balloons

This might best kept to small dogs with small mouths, lest the balloon to become a very quick snack (and, trust me, you don’t want that). There’s a drawer in every kitchen that has a few forgotten birthday balloons in it, so find yours and Fido’s got a new toy. The balloons float teasingly and are hard to trap, bouncing off swiping paws and poking noses. And, of course, there’s the darkly hilarious moment when your startled pup’s toy bursts. Good fun for everyone – but be extra careful your dog doesn’t eat the pieces of burst balloon.

Say what you will about movie violence, but there’s one thing that I’ve come to think of as hard truth: most people can handle an almost infinite number of human deaths on-screen, but if the dog dies, they’ll damn near walk out of the theatre. I call it “The Independence Day Effect,” after the scene were pretty much all of Los Angeles explodes, but the audience (and I witnessed this in the theatre) held its collective breath until the return of Will Smith’s golden lab. I distinctly remember applause and cheering (and not just from me) when the dog finally leaps to his master and safety, oh-so-dramatically close ahead of the giant alien fireball.

But not all movies give us that happy let off when the dog comes bounding to safety. In some movies the dog doesn’t make the improbable escape from the exploding skyscraper. In some movies the dog isn’t around at the end when the world is saved from the robots/aliens/international terrorist stereotypes. In some movies the dog dies.

Those movies suck.

Here’s a quick list of a few movies that, if you're like me and your enjoyment of the flick hinges on the safety of the dog, you'll want to be wary of.

• Old Yeller (1957) – I hate you, Disney, for making this movie. It’s a classic, of course, despite the fact that everyone knows what’s coming. Famous for bringing tears to the most hardened of moviegoers’ eyes, the scene where Old Yeller dies has traumatized generations of dog-lovers.

• I Am Legend (2007) – Will Smith, who passed the test in dog-friendly Independence Day, lost his canine cred with audiences when his character’s beloved German shepherd didn’t live happily ever in I Am Legend. Sure he cried, but I’d rather he saved the dog.

• Marley & Me (2008) – At least this is a true story of a retriever that lived a long and happy life. And, I know, this is mostly about the dog’s happy life and well-natured antics. But still, the dog-lover in me still wishes they departed from the book, and Marley ends up living on a farm in the country where he has lots of space to run and is really happy forever.

• The Fly II (1989) – The worst of the lot. The innocent golden retriever (why is it always goldens?) suffers horribly from cruel bad guys and twisted science before being relieved of his misery by Eric Stoltz. (Good man, Eric.) No wonder this film got such poor reviews.

If you know of any other movies dog-lovers should avoid, please do leave a comment below. As for me, I’m off to re-watch something with Benji, Hollywood’s safest pooch since 1974.