Author Archive

Image via Wikipedia

Some of the most popular relationships articles on CanadianLiving.com are also some of the scariest.

In the spirit of Halloween, here are some of our top picks:

How to spot an emotional vampire
Is someone you know sucking the life right out of you? Here's the run down on how to deal with the toxic people in your life.

How to let go of a toxic relationship
Learn to recognize the signs of a bad relationship, plus how to move on and seek emotional support if you're involved in one.

Porn addicts
How to handle his porn obsession.

How to spot a psychopath
Psychopaths aren’t always easy to spot. Here’s how to find them – and how to avoid being a victim.

Quiz: Is your marriage heading for a breakup?
The "for better" part is usually easy. But will you and your partner be able to weather the "for worse"?

Is your relationship a horror story or a romantic comedy? Leave a comment and let us know.

Ashton Kutcher (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

If you've been through a grocery store checkout line this week, you're sure to have gotten an eyeful of this latest load of Hollywood gossip.

Allegedly, Ashton Kutcher cheated on his wife, Demi Moore, on their 6th wedding anniversary.

And now all the gossip magazines and tabloid TV shows (which I hate to love) are speculating that Demi will file for divorce.

Would you? Sure, we're not Hollywood stars with the press reporting our relationships' ups and downs, but when a partner cheats, it's still humiliating, confusing, infuriating and sad. But is it time to call it quits?

If your partner was caught cheating, what would divorce him or her? Leave a comment and let us know.

Micrograph of herpes simplex virus. Image via Wikipedia

A Toronto man has been charged with aggravated sexual assault for allegedly failing to tell his girlfriend he has herpes.

CBC News reports:

"James David Hogg, 35, had unprotected consensual sex with his 28-year-old girlfriend in March without disclosing his sexual history, police allege.

His girlfriend later found out he had HSV-2 genital herpes, and contacted police.

After police investigated, they determined there was enough evidence to charge him with aggravated sexual assault, said Const. Tony Vella."

The Calgary Sun reports:

"While this type of case is a first for Toronto Police, it's not unique. A Canadian Armed Forces officer was charged with aggravated sexual assault and criminal negligence causing bodily harm last year by military police for exposing a number of women with herpes.

Herpes is not a reportable disease under the criteria outlined by the provincial health ministry, said Rishma Govani, spokesman for Toronto Public Health.

Govani said criteria includes issues such as "the burden of the disease" (and whether there is) an effective prevention, treatment or public health intervention, etc.," she said.

"Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV and syphilis are reportable STIs, and herpes and Human Papilloma virus are not." Those with a sexually transmitted disease considered reportable, must disclose their condition to partners and health authorities."

Sure, I think both men and women should have to tell their partner if they have herpes.

But if they fail to do so, should it be punishable by law? Leave a comment and let me know.

Image by TheCulinaryGeek via Flickr

Women eat less when there are guys around, according to a study published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology.

Over 100 calories less, on average
CBC News reports:

"Researchers studied the eating habits of students at a food court at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. 166 participants recorded what they purchased during lunch and dinner hours.

They found that women purchased an average of 833 calories when eating only with other women, while that average dropped to 721 calories in the company of men."

Are you making your husband fat?
The study also shows that men, conversely, will eat more around women - an average of over 200 calories more! According to Huffington Post Canada:

"Perhaps the more surprising results was when men ate with other men. They ate an average of 952 calories when eating with their own gender but when they sat with women, males consumed 1162 calories on average."

But why?
Jezebel says:

"Not surprisingly, women eat less when they're around men, presumably due to social conventions that require us to be delicate little songbirds around men..."

Hmm. Do you feel like you have to eat "ladylike portions" around men? Leave a comment and let me know.

An Ottawa radio station is hosting a contest where women have the chance to win three IVF treatments. The prize, valued at over $35,000, could help boost the winner's chance of conceiving a baby.

A dream come true?
According to the Hot 89.9 web site:

"It is some people’s lifelong dream to conceive a baby, but not everyone can. If you’re in that situation The New Hot 89-9 is swooping in like a big beautiful stork to make your dreams of changing diapers a reality."

Controversial contest
The contest has been gaining international attention, which has not always been positive. In the U.K., the Daily Mail reports:

"Hot 89.9's Morning Hot Tub show, which is running the competition, has been unapologetic and brags on its website that it is the 'first in history' to be making such an offer.

Its disturbing advert features a baby staring out at the camera holding up a sign saying: 'Win me!' although with the caveat underneath that 'Baby may not be exactly as shown'.

Listeners complained that the contest was sending out the wrong message, not least to the child whose parents will have to explain the story of how he was born."

Here at home, Andrew Lovesey has this to say in the National Post:

"Having children is not a frivolous decision. And the blessing of a new child shouldn’t be treated in the same way as a free breakfast at a pancake house, or a week-long holiday at a Cuban resort. But you wouldn’t know that from listening to an Ottawa radio station that is using a prize of in-vitro fertilization treatments as a contest promotion…

…The very premise of the contest insults the sanctity of life. The idea of “winning” a child is itself offensive in the extreme, belittling life, making childbirth into a marketing gimmick. It also has the effect of making an object (a prize) out of a human being."

In an interview with CBC News, Jan Silverman, a member of Ontario's expert panel on infertility, had this to say:

"I certainly dislike the commodification of babies, turning babies into products ... However, I am pleased that it brings attention to the plight, to the expense that infertile couples that require IVF must go through to have a baby."

What do you think? Does this contest leave a bad taste in your mouth? Or are you glad it's drawing attention to the struggles some couples have conceiving? Leave a comment and let me know.

Would you? What about just revealing "selective truths" to your potential suitors?

As Marie says on the Canadian Living Facebook page:

"I have an online dating profile and (I) didn't lie. I just left out the bad stuff. "

Full disclosure
I got thinking about what we disclose in our online dating profiles after reading an article in yesterday's Globe and Mail, which reported that folks are more likely to reveal they're overweight than to mention which political party they support. You can read the whole article here.

Would you rather your potential suitor knew how you voted or that you have a few extra pounds?

Image by Cali4beach via Flickr

Little white lies
Canadians spend more time on online dating sites than folks in the U.S., U.K., France and Germany, according to web analytics company comScore.

With so many users and so many profiles, a few little white lies are bound to crop up. Here are some that were reported on the Canadian Living Facebook page:

"I met one fellow who sent me a photo that was 25 years younger than himself, and another who Photoshopped his pics..." - Anna

"...I could not believe how much men would lie and (I) discovered they are way more vain than any female I know. What is the point in lying about your age or weight and posting a picture at least ten years old?..." - Patricia

And Marissa reported what she would lie about:

"I would lie and say I like to hunt and have a collection of guns...just so he knows that I may look girly and put together, but if you piss me off - look out..."

OK. So. Don't mess with Marissa.

What would you write?
If you were writing your online dating profile, would you tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Or would you conveniently leave some truths out? Leave a comment and let me know.

Image via Wikipedia

Here's a great guest post from consumer savings expert, Andrea Woroch.

More Canadians are shopping online than ever before, despite perceived shipping problems from e-commerce companies.

We research products online but buy them in-store
According to a 2010 study by the JC Williams Group, more than 55 per cent of Canadians initiate purchases via the Internet, yet the lack of free-shipping offers led them to complete their purchase at a brick-and-mortar store.

That's a trend that's rapidly reversing, as retailers realize they can catch more flies with free-shipping honey.

Free shipping is changing how we shop
In another 2010 study -- this one from the NDP Group -- 75 percent of Canadian online shoppers say free shipping offers are the number-one factor when considering a purchase. This may be why U.S. based L.L. Bean is now permanently offering free shipping to Canada with no minimum purchase required.

So long, Zappos
That doesn't mean every merchant is following suit. As of April 1, Zappos.com is no longer serving Canadian audiences because of difficulties related to customs. Perhaps part of the problem, however, may have been related to the improved shipping service offered by home-country merchants.

For example, Chapters has dropped their minimum purchase for free shipping from $39 to $25; Forever 21 from $75 to $60; and Future Shop from $39 to $20. It's a trend that's steadily improving every year.

Competition means deals
We also have a good deal going for electronics' purchases. Thanks to intense competition between electronics stores in Canada, the majors are duking it out in an effort to land consumers.

Free shipping for electronics
The best free shipping offers on electronics in Canada courtesy of FreeShipping.ca:

• BestBuy.ca - Free shipping on orders over $20 to anywhere in Canada.
• FutureShop.ca - Free shipping on orders over $20.
• TheSource.ca - Free 3-5 day direct shipping to any of 720 The Source stores in Canada.

These healthy Canadian offers appear to be having an impact, as indicated by the NDP Group survey. Last August, only 6 percent of respondents had purchased personal computers online in the last six months, but 25 per cent said they would do so in the near future.

Buying clothes online
Electronics isn't the only ecommerce area exploding in Canada; the same study also found respondents planned on increasing their online clothing purchases by 15 per cent.

Such increased interest has spurred Canadian online sales to a 90-per cent increase between 2005 and 2009, at which time the industry claimed more than $15 billion in sales. In 2009 alone, consumers placed more than 95 billion online orders.

Which are you more likely to buy online: clothes or electronics?

1. Dealuxe
Finally! A place to shop for (or "window shop" for) fancy clothes here in Canada. This recently-launched shopping destination offers contemporary luxury clothes, shoes, handbags, accessories and cosmetics from swish brands. Watch for exclusive deals every Thursday. Returns are free! And: Invite your friends to Dealuxe and earn $10 every time someone you invite makes their first purchase. It's a Dealight!

2. Canadian Tire
Your go-to site for tools, electronics, kitchen & bath fixtures, backyard necessities, home decor (love the Debbie Travis line), sports equipment and more.

3. Urban Barn
Many people don't realize this retailer is Canadian, but they actually first opened their doors in B.C. in 1990. You can't currently order their contemporary furniture and home accents from the site, but you can noodle around with their very cool Room Planner tool and drool over their handsome patio furniture.

4. Chapters Indigo
You'll find bestsellers and bargains at Chapters Indigo, Canada's biggest bookstore.  The new Kobo e-book reader will be out in June, but you can pre-order it here today.

5. Grocery Gateway
This online grocery shopping and home delivery service currently delivers to the greater Toronto area, including Hamilton. And it is absolutely magical. Giant boxes of Tide, cases and cases of club soda, all your heavy, bulky groceries delivered to your door. Perfect, especially for new moms.

6. Roots
Roots has quality leather goods handcrafted in Canada but most importantly, it has sweatpants. Lots and lots of comfy sweatpants, with sweatshirts to match.  Coziness, delivered from online to your door.

What's your favourite online Canadian store?

Hey - here's an incredible guest post from Canadian Living's senior life editor, Donna Paris. She'll be a regular blogger here starting next week, so subscribe to The Life Blog today! -- Jen Villamere

One thing I did learn in Cambodia is that parents love their kids. They are trying their best to provide for their families but there just isn't enough to eat sometimes, and kids can get very sick. But I also learned that every little bit helps, and that it starts at all levels with education programs and the funding of community projects.

I travelled with World Vision and Chef Roger Mooking, who kicked off the Cooking Up Justice campaign in Cambodia to learn about the impact of food on child health and how we can make a difference.

As a dad himself, Roger found it easy to make a connection with the children. We visited many families living in the rural areas, and the importance of educating the mothers, especially about child nutrition, was evident in many households. World Vision offers “sprinkles,” (iron and other vitamins) that can literally be sprinkled over top of porridge.

Another initiative is to teach moms about the importance of nutrition and hygiene, and give them access to health care. They're taught how to make a healthy porridge with leafy greens and other available vegetables and a protein source, such as fish or chicken. This mom, Chhum Channy, puts a high value on education and is proud to show off her healthy son. “When he's educated, he can get a good job and take care of the next generation of the family,” she told me.

Food is not always readily available, and that is a huge problem. Here, tiny fish are grown in a large pond, and when they're big enough, they are handed over to families, along with a plastic liner, so they can dig out a small area and grow their own fish in a pond. This ensures a source of protein for families, especially important on days when they don’t have any food except rice to eat.

Access to health care makes a tremendous difference, especially in rural areas. Funded by various aid agencies, this clinic diagnoses and treats medical problems and emergencies, and educates women, as well. Women are encouraged to go to a clinic, especially when delivering babies, so that the baby has a better chance of survival if a problem occurs.

On one of my favourite days, we travelled to Angkor Wat, the ancient temple complex built in the 12th century, near the town of Siem Reap. It is the largest religious building in the world, and is admired for the grandeur and harmony of the architecture, and it was very humbling to be walking amongst some of the ruins in such a holy place. This tree took my breath away, and when we climbed to the top of the temple, we were able to watch one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen in my life.

Hey - here's an incredible guest post from Canadian Living's senior life editor, Donna Paris. She'll be a regular blogger here starting next week, so subscribe to The Life Blog today! -- Jen Villamere

Recently, I travelled to Cambodia with World Vision and Chef Roger Mooking to kick off the Cooking Up Justice campaign and learn about the impact of food on child health and how we can make a difference. I don't want to say it changed my life, but honestly, it changed my life.

Cambodia is a very poor country, and we travelled throughout the rural areas, meeting with families. I had certainly seen many pictures and watched videos, but it is a different thing altogether when you see things with your own eyes. I returned with a desire to help in some way. So I’m starting with a Cooking Up Justice Party at my place to help ensure that kids everywhere have access to healthy food and clean drinking water. And here's how you can host one, too.

I love open markets and couldn't wait to go to the one in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, on our first day. It was full of just about everything – clothes, cooking utensils, jewellery. In one area, noodle soups bubbled next to a stand selling motorcycle parts. One thing I wasn't prepared for? The heat. It was about 36° and humid, I was sweating just standing still.

One project, nicknamed “Bamboo Shoots” reaches out to street kids in Phnom Penh, where children can stay for six to nine months. The good news is that the kids get an education, nutritious meals and a place to sleep, while workers try to reunite them with their families. The bad news is that there are a lot of street children in Phnom Penh – it is estimated that there are more than 2,000. This centre can only house 25 kids at a time. But that's how it starts, one child at a time.

Kids are funny. Some of them totally ignored me, but not this girl. We couldn't understand a word of what we were saying to each other, but she made herself perfectly clear nonetheless. She gave me a hug and I asked someone to take a picture of the two of us, and when I showed her the photo on my digital camera, she ran around showing all her friends and teachers, because she'd never seen a photo of herself.

This made me cry. At the Akphiwat Primary School in the Senlot region near the city of Battambang, students welcomed our team by clapping us into the school. It felt like such an honour – no one had ever greeted me that way in my life. When I told a few of the teachers and administrators that the honour was ours, they said, “Oh no, you have travelled thousands of miles from Canada, just to visit us!”

It doesn't matter where in the world you are, you find out that kids like to have a good laugh, and they love to ham it up for the camera. Teachers, lessons, um, hold on a minute! This camera-crazy lady wants to take my photo. During a recess break, the kids played tag, catch and volleyball with our team, proving that kids all over the world like to play, too.