Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

The controversy *ahem* surrounding the recent lawsuit filed against actor John Travolta has got me wondering: Is there a proper way to reject an unwanted advance?

It happens to both men and women in various circumstances and scenarios. Whether as teenagers or adults, and as flattering as they may seem, sometimes these advances can make for some terribly awkward situations.

So what happens if the advance comes from someone you see every day -- a coworker, perhaps? Do you go straight to your HR department? Or do you sit the person down and politely tell them that their behaviour is making you uncomfortable? Better yet, what if it happens at work, but with a client who propositions you?

Curiosity has gotten the best of me today, and I'm full of questions about this topic.

So, dear readers… How do you reject an unwanted advance?

Hi everyone,

Thank you for all the lovely comments you shared in my post: On moms, biology and a special Mother's Day giveaway. I absolutely enjoyed reading about the unique relationships you share with your mothers, and my heart swelled to know of the special roles they play in your lives.

The contest for the giveaway has now ended and we have a winner determined by a random number generator.

The winning number (counting from oldest to newest comments) is:

And the winner of our special Mother's Day giveaway, courtesy of Canadian Tire, is:

Congratulations, Colleen Cole!

Thanks to our friends at Canadian Tire, you'll be receiving some relaxing treats to help ease all your stresses: a Revlon Paraffin Bath, a Sunbeam Massaging Foot Spa, and a Sunbeam Neck and Shoulder Wrap.

Best wishes,

Simone

I'm feeling rather thoughtful as I write this post. You see, for the past few weeks our team at Canadian Living has been wrapped up in all things Mother's Day. From gift guides and crafts to inspiring menus, we've been preparing to celebrate a day dedicated to some pretty special women -- our moms.

As someone who recently joined the Canadian Living team, I've had the joy of getting to know some of the fabulous moms in our office. In fact, you've probably read some of their posts in the Life Blog. There's Donna, who recently wrote this amazing blog post on why girls rock; Teresa, who has been writing some fascinating posts about birth orders; Olga, who shared this heartwarming post about a trip she took with her children, and my desk buddy, Helen, who has been working away intensely on content for our updated Mom's channel (appropriately enough).

These ladies are just a handful of the wonderful moms who are part of our team. I don't need to speak of the love they have for their children, as I believe that's evident in their posts. They truly exemplify the characteristics I believe it takes to be a good mom -- selflessness, sacrifice, a nurturing nature, and a sense of humour. I've learned a lot from these ladies through our conversations, and I hope that if and when the day comes, I too will showcase similar qualities towards my child as they do to theirs.

Our May issue featured a story I'd like to draw attention to. Redefining Mom highlighted the lives of three women who proved that there's more to being a mother than simple genetics. These women brought up children that weren't biologically theirs, and nurtured them as if they were their own. Their beautiful stories tugged at my heartstrings and made me realize that there is so much more to being a mother than simply giving birth. I encourage you to give their stories a read when you have a moment, and share your thoughts.

Finally, this blog post dedicated to moms wouldn't be complete without me mentioning my own mother -- a lady who truly defines grace and beauty to me, and proves time and time again that the strength of a woman is endless and unmatched. She has taught me the true meaning of compassion, and has brought me up to know that the world isn't as scary as people make it seem. Above all else, however, my mum has taught me to have a sense of humour about life, because despite all our planning and paving for the future, life will always unveil its own course for us. We simply have to go with the flow.

I'm glad we have a day to celebrate our moms. Actually, scratch that. Let's make this a day to celebrate all the women in our life who have nurtured us and helped make us who we are, whether through biology or otherwise. And then, if at all possible, let's take every chance we get to remind them just how much they mean to us. And not just on Mother's Day.

Now it's your turn. Leave a comment below, telling us about the unique bond you share with your mom (or the special woman who helped you become who you are). Each comment will be entered into a draw to win a special Mother's Day gift pack courtesy of Canadian Tire, featuring a Revlon Paraffin Bath, a Sunbeam Massaging Foot Spa, and a Sunbeam Neck and Shoulder Wrap.

The winner will be chosen at random on Monday, May 7, 2012 at noon.

UPDATE: Thank you for all your lovely comments. The giveaway contest is now closed, and we've selected a winner.

Sometimes, I think back to my teenage days and shake my head.
I can’t believe I did that.
I can’t believe I worried so much about something so trivial.
I can’t believe I got wrapped up in all that drama.

Today, my daughter is celebrating her sweet 16.
As I watch her walk through all the stages of her life, I can't help but think back to my footsteps of years gone by.

Is she anything like my 16-year-old self?

My lovely daughter, in honour of your milestone birthday, I dedicate this post to you, because I too was 16 once...

Enjoy the friends you have today, but don't be so into them that you don't allow new friends into your circle. If you can look back at your high school photos 10 years from now and say that even half of those friends are still in your life, you are truly blessed.

Study hard and do the best possible work you can do, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t make the honour roll.  Doing your absolute best counts so much more than the numbers on the paper.

Look presentable, but don’t put too much emphasis on your looks. True friends look past the exterior and into your core. Spend more time working on your internal beauty.

From the time you earn your very first paycheque, always put some money aside for your future. You may think it’s so far away, but in reality, it's really not.

Whoever you date should be your friend first. Love the person you are when you’re with him. You should feel confident in knowing that you’re the only one he’s thinking about. Anything less just won’t do.

And lastly,
Always follow your heart.
It won’t lead you down the wrong path.
Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place.

I promise you that.

What would you say to your 16-year-old self?

Would you propose marriage to your partner? If so, maybe today's the day to ask.

Source: Flickr.com

Earlier today one of our wonderful Canadian Living Facebook fans tipped me off to an unusual leap year tradition that takes place every four years on this day in Sweden.

Screengrab by Tasia Rivero

A quick web search and I've found the tradition also takes place in Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Finland, too.

The tale
In the countries listed, February 29 is the day when women propose to their partner. As the story goes, Queen Margaret of Scotland created a fine back in 1288 for any man who refuses a woman's request to marry. Legend has it the fine was a pair of leather gloves, a single rose, £1 and a kiss (not sure I'd want a kiss from someone who's just turned me down, but maybe that's just me?).

The Danish tale requires a gift of 12 pairs of gloves to refuse a woman's proposal. In Finland, a man has to buy her enough fabric to make a skirt.

So, would you ever propose to your partner? Or would you wait for them to pop the question?

Last week, my 7-year-old daughter told me I was the worst mom ever – all because she thought I had eaten the last heart-shape Krispy Kreme doughnut. In reality, I had packed it in her lunch bag along with a little note as a special Valentine's Day treat.

Needless to say, she ruined the surprise that morning and sent me on a path of self-doubt.

Why do I even bother?

I shared this dilemma with our Canadian Living Facebook friends and asked them if they'd ever been considered "the worst mom ever." Am I ever glad I did!

Below are a few responses that helped me realize that, not only am I not alone, I'm part of a club: "The Worst Mom Ever" Club.

That's my job... I'm not the best friend... I am the "mom" and that means being (on a regular basis) the "worst mom ever!"/Michelle Park

I have 3 – 17, 18, 20 – and I'm the mother from hell LOL./Kim Gibson Gott

My 9-year-old says that to me all the time when I tell him Xbox or computer time is over./Nicole Peetsma Epker

You just reminded me to put my daughter's sweater in the dryer for today's use... I would probably get that..../Connie Gall

I'm not perfect. I forget things sometimes. This is not acceptable to my 7-year-old./Lea Langsuyar

My daughter was a beautiful daughter until she turned 12, and then another person took over./Evelyn Escalona

More times than I can count! Part of the job of parenting is being considered terrible – if not, probably not doing my job that well./Fiona Brownlee

Oh yeah... I alternate regularly from being mean to being the best. I guess that means I'm doing OK./Suzanne Gabriel

Yes – it's then that I know I'm being a good "parent," not a friend./Michelle Zimmer

I'm the worst mom ever at least once a week. But on the bright side, the rest of the time, I get to be the Best Mom Ever./Luana McDonald

About 20 minutes ago lol!/Susannah Teney

What mother hasn't?/Nadine Martin

Apparently, I'm not the only one wearing "the worst mom ever" hat and I'm happy to say, I'm in good company.

Oh, and by the way, I know why I bother.... Because every "You're the worst mom ever" is trumped by a "You're the best mom ever."

Besides, as fiesty as she is, I love that little munchkin all the way to the moon and back.

I feel like I've been waiting by the phone but you never called.

I had so many plans for us.

We were going to spend countless hours together.
We were going to join you down on the frozen pond on Sunday afternoons.
We were going to get our sleds out and giggle all the way down the snowy hills.
We were going to build you a new friend, complete with button eyes and carrot nose.

We were going to have fun. Lots of it.

We used to have so much fun together.

But...

you never called.

And...

I'm not waiting anymore.

I was sooo looking forward to your arrival.
When you didn't show up in November, I thought you were just late.

I was patient.
You were worth waiting for.

But we're halfway through February now and, still, you're a no-show.

I'm going to try to put this behind me.
I'm going to put you out of mind and look forward to spring.
I'm going to tell myself that you're not worth it.
But deep down inside, we both know that isn't true.
I don't think I'll ever get over the winter that never came.

I miss you.

Let's give this another chance.
I'll be patiently waiting by the phone next November.

Please don't leave me hanging.

Our second annual Canadian Living Sex Survey just closed and this year the results are sexy… and shocking.

The 2012 Sex Survey results are in!

Here are the three sauciest secrets revealed:

1. You really have a thing for actors named Ryan
Last year, respondents chose Ryan Reynolds as the sexiest Canadian man. He won again this year, by a mere 1 per cent over fellow actor Ryan Gosling. Combined, the two Ryans took 53 per cent of all votes cast, easily beating the other contenders.

2. You think a sexual partner's sexiest trait is… their sense of humour
Oh, come on. In fact, a partner's hot body or good looks didn't even make it into the top three. We've all heard that love is blind, but is sex appeal blind, too? Seems counter-intuitive to me.

(In case you were wondering, the top three sexiest traits are: Sense of humour, raw sex appeal and intellect.)

3. Sexting is on the rise
Be sure to put a lock on your smartphone! This year 36 per cent said they'd sent a saucy picture or video of themselves to another -- a rise of 6 per cent over last year's results.

For all the sexy stats, you can visit us at canadianliving.com/sexsurvey.

A decadent giveaway -- just in time for Valentine's Day
Looking ahead to Valentine's, the Body Shop has sent over goodies from their new Chocomania line - including their famous body butter, body scrub, shower cream, soap and body lotion. Believe me when I say they smell divine.

This Chocomania gift set smells good enough to eat. Photo credit: The Body Shop

For your chance to win, leave a comment below and let me know what you look forward to most about Valentine's Day. Is it spending time with your main squeeze, getting a cute card from your kids, or indulging in a chocolate treat or two?

I'll announce two winners here next Wed., Feb. 15, 2012.

Don't you just love a good wedding? The beautiful bride, the handsome groom, the outpouring of love, heartfelt speeches and last but certainly not least -- the cake! A fabulous wedding can take months or even years of planning, patience and inspiration.

To help you with the inspiration bit, Canadianliving.com's Relationships editor, Tasia Rivero scoured a local wedding show in search of the latest and greatest wedding trends. Without further ado...Tasia, take it away! -- Jen Melo

Top 5 wedding trends for 2012
by Tasia Rivero

Last Friday, I attended The Wedding Co. Show at the Carlu Hotel in Toronto where 125 vendors met with happy couples looking for the best wedding wares. Organizer Catherine Lash hand-picked her favourite apparel and accessories designers, event organizers, photographers, pastry chefs and more to highlight the hottest wedding trends for 2012. Here are the top five trends you need to know if you're planning a wedding:

1. Fascinators reign supreme

Headpiece by David Dunkley, KCs Hats. KCsHats.com

The modern fascinator continues to be a hot wedding trend for Canadian brides. For 2012, expect to see brides in short veils ("bouquet-length"), birdcage netting covering part of the face, or feathers and/or floral headbands and hairpins.

2. Personalized bridal wear

Blue sponge necklace - also available as hanging earrings -- imported from Italy by Rue Pigalle.

This year, brides-to-be are keen on breaking up an all-white look with a touch of colour. Think dresses accented with gorgeous silk sashes, gem-coloured shoes to peek out from under full skirts, and showstopping coloured jewelry.

3. The sweets table

Decadent sweets table, Truffle Cake & Pastry. Truffletoronto.com

Wedding cake no longer stands alone. This year, expect to see an entire spread of toothsome treats: gourmet, colour-coordinated bowls of candy alongside baked goodies like cupcakes in regular and mini sizes, meringues, madeleines, macarons and cookies. Mmmmm.

4. Hand-crafted stationery

Calligraphy by Rajiv Surendra, Letters in Ink. Lettersinink.com

Wedding stationery was a huge part of the show. This year, couples have plenty of options when it comes to their save-the-date notes, wedding invitations and thank-you cards. Many of these items are uber-personalized, featuring quirky block letters with custom graphics and colours, or sophisticated, hand-drawn calligraphy.

5. Communal dining tables

Communal table setting, Gorgeous Events. Gorgeousevents.ca

Long, communal dining tables are perhaps an unexpected trend at the show. This year, couples are embracing intimate receptions. Get the look by setting up a long, straight table, adorned with low floral arrangements to allow for unobstructed chatter between your guests.

Which of these top five wedding trends is your favourite? Least favourite?

Image via Wikipedia

Some of the most popular relationships articles on CanadianLiving.com are also some of the scariest.

In the spirit of Halloween, here are some of our top picks:

How to spot an emotional vampire
Is someone you know sucking the life right out of you? Here's the run down on how to deal with the toxic people in your life.

How to let go of a toxic relationship
Learn to recognize the signs of a bad relationship, plus how to move on and seek emotional support if you're involved in one.

Porn addicts
How to handle his porn obsession.

How to spot a psychopath
Psychopaths aren’t always easy to spot. Here’s how to find them – and how to avoid being a victim.

Quiz: Is your marriage heading for a breakup?
The "for better" part is usually easy. But will you and your partner be able to weather the "for worse"?

Is your relationship a horror story or a romantic comedy? Leave a comment and let us know.