Money is and always will be a delicate subject – in any relationship. But there are some things you just need to ask about before you pledge to a commitment of marriage or living together.

It's best to get everything out in the open so you can start fresh with no secrets.

Money secrets can cause feelings of insecurity and resentment.

Timing  and environment

• Schedule some quiet time with your loved one.
• Make sure you're not fighting and that you're stress free. And kid free.

Be honest; please

• No matter what choices you've made in the past – be honest – because this affects your partner's future too. I know I would respect someone more if they were honest about their money situation right off the bat rather than finding out about it later.

Questions to consider

• Do you have any outstanding debts, such as school loans, credit card debt, car payments or a line of credit?
• Have you acted as a cosigner for anyone else? Have you helped a family member purchase a home or a car?
• How often do you take risks? Do you play the lotto? Bet on horse-racing? Play Pro-Line?
• In general, what do you feel the importance of money is?
• What are your goals for the future?

Whatever decisions you make, at least you will be armed with the truth.

I hope the answers to these questions match your values and goals... for better or worse.

Between choices of flowers and chocolate boxes, spa gift certificates and dinners at home, there are endless ways to show our moms just how much we care about them on Mother's Day. However, I was recently made aware of a wonderful program through Oxfam Canada, where you can give your loved ones gifts that keep on giving, long after their special day has passed.

Would you buy a goat for Mother's Day? (Image courtesy of Oxfam Unwrapped)

Goats. Chickens. Seeds. Donkeys. Wells.

Oxfam Unwrapped is a program that lets you purchase gifts for your friends or loved ones, that go to people in the developing world. For example, you can purchase a goat through the Unwrapped program (in your mother's name, for instance), and it will go to a mother in Asia, Africa or Latin America. She will then use the goat to help her family get nourishment, and quite possibly become more self-sufficient.

“These sheep are my hope. They have made me more confident in my family and in society. My son loves animals and I just feel happy when I see them." - Wubalem Muluneh a mother of two in Akaki, Ethiopia. (Image courtesy of Oxfam Canada)

The gifts vary in cost -- a chicken costs $15 and a donkey is priced at $120 -- but the benefits make all the difference in the lives of so many people in various parts of the world. A gift from the Unwrapped program is literally a gift that keeps on giving.

Some additional perks of the program?

- Oxfam handles your delivery
- You get to see your gift in action
- You can choose your gift based on interests and budgets

“Now that we no longer have to spend three hours carrying water, we have more time for our family, our children. Thanks to Oxfam we have been saved from being displaced during the floods” - Sakina Katun in Mathpara, Bangladesh. (Image courtesy of Golam Rabban/Oxfam Canada)

So this year for Mother's Day, think globally, and give your mom a gift that crosses boundaries and makes a lasting impact on the lives of people around our planet. Visit OxfamUnwrapped.ca for all the details.

What are your special plans for Mother's Day?

Globe-trotting Mamas and Children

Two Christmases ago I took what I call the best 'cheap and cheerful adventure' holiday ever: I signed up for a group package with G Adventures (then called Gap Adventures) to Costa Rica. The 10 days were jam-packed with zip-lining, horseback riding, Level 4 rafting and some of the scariest heart-in-my-mouth rappelling ever.

Admittedly, my participation in a few of the activities were the direct result of peer pressure ("Doug, don't be a wuss!") from a mother-daughter duo from Wisconsin who were in the group.

Of course the physical activities were unforgettable, but some of the most enduring memories of that trip were moments shared with mom-daughter duo Karen and Brenda. This adventure trip was their Christmas gift to each other. How cool, I thought, instead of swapping identical cardigans and over-priced kitchen appliances, they opted to travel together.

Talking to them separately, it was clear that it was a special time for both of them. And they were being practical as Brenda joked, "Being in a group is safer. If we get on each other's nerves, there will be other people to diffuse the tension!" Not that I saw any signs of conflict. They were having a blast.

Wouldn't it be great if we all had that opportunity in our lives? To plant yourself in a new environment, just parent and child (of any age) and discover a new part of yourself – and maybe a new dimension to your parent-child relationship? Isn't that food for thought as Mother Day approaches.

Turns out that Brenda and Karen aren't the only ones who believe in parents and children hitting the road together.

Canadian writer Heather Greenwood Davis (Globetrotting Mama) is an incredibly courageous believer in the concept. She and her husband are travelling around the world - for a year - with their two young boys.

I interviewed Heather last November in this blog  about her reasons for taking her young children travelling around the world:

"This is the opportunity of a lifetime," Heather said. "It's true for Ish and I as parents and it's true for the kids. This trip will affect the rest of our lives. Since we left home there have been rare moments when an inkling of uncertainty might creep in but then we see our boys learning something new or growing as individuals and it wipes the uncertainly out of our minds."

Round the World with kids in tow (Courtesy: Globetrotting Mama/Heather Greenwood Davis)

The Greenwood-Davis foursome has been hot-air ballooning in Egypt, on safari in Tanzania, boating on the Mekong Delta, roaming ruins in Cambodia, bathing elephants in Thailand, back-packing through parts of South America, and eating their way through parts of the Middle East - not to mention falling in love with Lisbon. And, as Heather was keen to point out, learning about the world and each other.

What an incredible gift she's giving to her children.

You can follow Heather and her family as they spend their last 100 days travelling the world as a family - and get inspired. Maybe send the link to mom or your own child.

I also caught up with Cameron and Nicole Wears, Traveling Canucks, who shared some of their travel highlights in this blog last year. Then they were travel-obsessed Canadian couple living the dream. Now, they're  a travel-obsessed Canadian couple living the dream...with baby in tow.

They've also just launched a new web site where they share their hard-earned wisdom for travelling with infants. It's called, what else, Tips For Baby Travel.

Traveling Canucks: new member of the team

Say Cameron and Nicole: " Gone are the days of simply showing up to a backpacking district in Asia and searching for a hostel (at least in the foreseeable future). We now need to plan and get organized." And that's the focus of their new cyber venture.

If you're looking for gift ideas for Mother's Day or  tips on travelling with kids (and parents) of any age, check out Tips for Baby Travel, G Adventures and Globetrotting Mama.

Would you ever travel with your mom or adult child?

Hi everyone,

Thank you for all the lovely comments you shared in my post: On moms, biology and a special Mother's Day giveaway. I absolutely enjoyed reading about the unique relationships you share with your mothers, and my heart swelled to know of the special roles they play in your lives.

The contest for the giveaway has now ended and we have a winner determined by a random number generator.

The winning number (counting from oldest to newest comments) is:

And the winner of our special Mother's Day giveaway, courtesy of Canadian Tire, is:

Congratulations, Colleen Cole!

Thanks to our friends at Canadian Tire, you'll be receiving some relaxing treats to help ease all your stresses: a Revlon Paraffin Bath, a Sunbeam Massaging Foot Spa, and a Sunbeam Neck and Shoulder Wrap.

Best wishes,

Simone

Click if you’re looking for the Saturday Afternoon Book Club. 

Every day, I am surprised at how easily inspiration comes to me. Sometimes, it’s a beautiful new dessert from the Test Kitchen that I get to sample. Last week, it was the excitement over a new summer T-shirt that doesn’t hug me in all the wrong places (The Gap, $29). And this week, it’s our new intern here at the magazine, Tasha.

I love interns because they are so fresh and lovely – oozing the energy of their youth that surrounds them like an invisibility cloak they are unaware of. I like it that some of that excitement wears off on me. And so, I asked Tasha, “Who inspires you?”

Apparently, an older person, her grandmother. Some of the stuff she told me was so touching, I asked her to put it in writing. So this week, I’m turning over my inspirational post to my inspiration.

Tasha, as a baby, with the woman who’s been inspiring her all her life, her grandma.

By Tasha Zanin

For the past year, I’ve been living with my grandparents to save money while going to school. I love that she lets me live under her roof rent-free and leaves a lunch for me on the top shelf of the fridge every morning, but I hate my morning commute. What I didn’t expect to gain from my living arrangements is a role model.

When she first came to Canada, my nonna worked two jobs, Monday to Friday at a factory and Saturdays serving weddings at a banquet hall, to provide for her family, and still managed to put a healthy home-cooked meal on the table every night. And now she’s still taking care of her family, long after her own children have moved out. She’s allowed me and my cousin to move in, keeps an extra bed for visitors and even puppy-sits my uncle’s new dog.

I’ve realized no matter how busy she is, my nonna always makes time to call her siblings in Italy. If she can make that long-distance call, I can certainly find time to check in with my parents and brother, maybe even go home for dinner now and then. Sometimes it feels like I’ve spent weeks chained to a desk in the library, but I’ve learned that no matter how busy I am, there’s always time for my family.

There’s a saying Nonna has when my cousin and I complain about not being able to do something, like build Ikea furniture. “When your bum hits the water, you will learn to swim.” And every time she says it, she reminds us that when she married my nonno (Italian for grandfather), she could barely cook. Fifty-two years later, her home-cooked meals are the envy of my friends. It’s not just a lesson in cooking she’s teaching me, though my tiramisu is almost as good as hers now. She’s inspired me to dive head-first into whatever comes my way. And the Ikea shoe rack in my closet is holding up!

The most inspiring thing she’s taught me? A little bit about love. By the time she was just a year older than I am now, my nonna was married and my dad came one year after that. She met my nonno as a teenager and fell in love. Despite a 12-year age difference and a long-distance relationship (my nonno used to send her letters and money from Canada), she wasn’t afraid to take the leap of faith to move here to marry him, leaving her family and friends behind. That’s love, or, as the song goes, “That’s amore.” When you know it’s right, and you would cross thousands of miles across an ocean to live in a different country for love, it probably is.

What she’s taught me: Her love story inspires me to be brave, to take chances and trust that with a little work everything will fall into place.

How about you? Who’s inspiring you this week?

Kids say the funniest things, don't they?

At times they have us rolling on the floor with laughter and other times they cause us to stop and think.

Here are a few quotes from my nearest and dearest little friends that are both funny and insightful.

"I can't read, but I know cookies!" – Morgan, age 6, after being questioned about how she knew the difference between oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies when she couldn't yet read.

"Mommy, my tummy has a headache." – Mackenzie, age 3

"Giving up is an opportunity of darkness." – Hailey, age 7, after her sister said she was giving up on a puzzle.

"Why is the band called Queen if they are all boys? They should be called Kings." – Ella, age 7

"Ahhh... I need to relax." – Cillian, age 3, as he jumps on the sofa. Did I mention he's 3?

"You're a bum-bum face."– Alyssa, age 4, as told to her older brother after she had asked her mom if bum was considered a bad word.

"Superman, I'm on my way." – Tristan, age 4, after hearing a crash in the other room.

"My taste bugs aren't working very well." – Morgan, age 6

"Mom, Tristan coughed all over the couch. Now we have to fertilize it." – Hailey, age 7

"Do these have nuts? Because I'm allergic to penis." – Mackenzie, age 5, after being offered a treat at a friend's house. She has a peanut allergy.

"Don't worry, I left some for the fish." – Amy, age 7, after taking a long drink at the water fountain.

What about the little people in your life? I'd love to hear all about the funny things that come out of their mouths. Please share them in the comments box below.

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote those immortal words in 1850. How could she have known that more than a century and a half later we could use these same words for the four-legged loves of our lives?

Photography: U.S. Army

To celebrate reaching one million Facebook “pet fans,” Petco (a U.S.-based pet supply company) recently asked followers how pets make life one million times better. Here were the top 5 responses:
1. He loves me no matter what.
2. He’s my best friend.
3. He makes me laugh.
4. He's the perfect stress-reducer.
5. He gets me off the sofa.

We asked our Facebook friends a similar question – What does your pet do to make your life a little brighter? – and their responses lovingly confirmed Petco's survey. Here are a few of our favourite responses.

• "They really don't have to do anything. Just looking at my dogs makes me smile." – Debbie Lauzon

• "I'm fostering five kittens right now and the joy I get from watching them play is amazing. They let me love and snuggle them all the time." – Karen Shier

• "Darby loves a snuggle first thing in the morning. If I'm sitting in a chair he'll lie against my chest and go to sleep. His brother Liam is very vocal, and if I'm not getting out of bed soon enough he'll jump on the bed, wake up me and meow in my face." – MJ Westaway

• "When I come home from work my Buffy jumps from the couch to the floor and back about six times, then runs over to me talking in a very high-pitched voice, as if to say, 'I'm so glad you're home!' It's so nice to be loved so very much – and it's also wonderful to be able to return that love to an appreciative being. I am blessed!" – Marsha O'Leary

• "They greet me at the door as though I've been gone weeks, even when I just run to the store for five minutes. And they let me sleep a little longer on Sunday mornings!" – Elsie Ross

• "As soon as our cat realizes that we're awake she'll kiss and lick our noses. After that it's major snuggling time – best way to start the day. Our other cat and our golden retriever bring many smiles to our faces throughout the day in so many ways. Our pets mean the world to us." – Michelle Brugess

• "She wags her tail. It seems like a small thing, but she is paralyzed in her back end, so for her to wag her tail is a big deal to us. She's a dachshund and I love her." – Sandra Smith

• "When my boxer hears me tell my son it's bedtime, she leads the way to his room, curls up on the end of the bed and waits for him. And she stays there until I get both of them up in the morning! Makes me smile every time!" – Denise Phelan

How does your pet make your day a millions times brighter?

I'm feeling rather thoughtful as I write this post. You see, for the past few weeks our team at Canadian Living has been wrapped up in all things Mother's Day. From gift guides and crafts to inspiring menus, we've been preparing to celebrate a day dedicated to some pretty special women -- our moms.

As someone who recently joined the Canadian Living team, I've had the joy of getting to know some of the fabulous moms in our office. In fact, you've probably read some of their posts in the Life Blog. There's Donna, who recently wrote this amazing blog post on why girls rock; Teresa, who has been writing some fascinating posts about birth orders; Olga, who shared this heartwarming post about a trip she took with her children, and my desk buddy, Helen, who has been working away intensely on content for our updated Mom's channel (appropriately enough).

These ladies are just a handful of the wonderful moms who are part of our team. I don't need to speak of the love they have for their children, as I believe that's evident in their posts. They truly exemplify the characteristics I believe it takes to be a good mom -- selflessness, sacrifice, a nurturing nature, and a sense of humour. I've learned a lot from these ladies through our conversations, and I hope that if and when the day comes, I too will showcase similar qualities towards my child as they do to theirs.

Our May issue featured a story I'd like to draw attention to. Redefining Mom highlighted the lives of three women who proved that there's more to being a mother than simple genetics. These women brought up children that weren't biologically theirs, and nurtured them as if they were their own. Their beautiful stories tugged at my heartstrings and made me realize that there is so much more to being a mother than simply giving birth. I encourage you to give their stories a read when you have a moment, and share your thoughts.

Finally, this blog post dedicated to moms wouldn't be complete without me mentioning my own mother -- a lady who truly defines grace and beauty to me, and proves time and time again that the strength of a woman is endless and unmatched. She has taught me the true meaning of compassion, and has brought me up to know that the world isn't as scary as people make it seem. Above all else, however, my mum has taught me to have a sense of humour about life, because despite all our planning and paving for the future, life will always unveil its own course for us. We simply have to go with the flow.

I'm glad we have a day to celebrate our moms. Actually, scratch that. Let's make this a day to celebrate all the women in our life who have nurtured us and helped make us who we are, whether through biology or otherwise. And then, if at all possible, let's take every chance we get to remind them just how much they mean to us. And not just on Mother's Day.

Now it's your turn. Leave a comment below, telling us about the unique bond you share with your mom (or the special woman who helped you become who you are). Each comment will be entered into a draw to win a special Mother's Day gift pack courtesy of Canadian Tire, featuring a Revlon Paraffin Bath, a Sunbeam Massaging Foot Spa, and a Sunbeam Neck and Shoulder Wrap.

The winner will be chosen at random on Monday, May 7, 2012 at noon.

UPDATE: Thank you for all your lovely comments. The giveaway contest is now closed, and we've selected a winner.

Inside the Castle with a Belgian Count

With so much buzz about Her Majesty Queen's Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee celebrations to mark her 60 years on the throne of England, it's easy to forget about the monarchs, nobility, lords, ladies, dukes, counts, earls and the like in other parts of the world.

Castle Ooidonk on Lys River, Belgium (Photo: Doug O'Neill)

Recently, while travelling in Belgium, a group of us were invited for an afternoon visit with a bonafide Count, Earl Juan t' Kint de Roodenbeke, whose family have long resided at Ooidonk Castle, which is just east of the village of Bachte-Maria-Leerne, a few kilometers south west of Ghent.

Count Juan t'Kint de Roodenbeke (Photo: Doug O'Neill)

It's not everyday you visit a castle which is still occupied by the owner. The castle has a spotted history. It was caught in the midst of conflicts between various warring cities during the 14th and 15 centuries and then endured the raucous religious wars of the 16th century. Demolished, burned, torn asunder, at times pillaged, the medieval castle was rebuilt in 1595 with the notable crow-step gables and chimneys which so often remind visitors of castles in the Loire, France.

The castle was brought into the modern age in 1870 (with minimal tampering to its Renaissance elements) and it's been open to the public since 1958. The castle is brimming with paintings of European monarchs, furniture that wouldn't be out of place in Versailles, lots of silver and – just like any home – there are endless family portraits and photographs. Click here for an aerial view of the castle.

The gardens are lovely but not overly manicured. The rose gardens were just being prepped during our visit and I got the sense that this was a home -- not a museum piece. The surrounding land is still a working farm. A couple of sturdy Belgian horses greet you at the end of the lane, and don't be surprised if you see herons skirting over the castle moat and nearby lake. I was surprised to learn that the castle is twinned with Duns Castle, Berwickshire, Scotland.

One of the Guard's Tower of Castle Ooidonk (Photo: Doug O'Neill)

 
What really resonated with me about the visit to Castle Ooidonk parallels my impression about the Belgians, especially those I met in Flanders: they're unpretentious. Even in the stylish quarters of Ghent and Brussels, people seemed approachable. They're the perfect blend of Parisian style (even while riding bicycles along the canals) with - dare I say it- Canadian modesty.

Such ingredients make for a perfect time when you're wandering around medieval Bruges or the chi-chi shops of Bruxelles. It's no wonder I felt so welcomed when visiting the count and invited into his family home.

Elaborate furnishings of the castle date back hundreds of years (Photo: Doug O'Neill)

Like many castles throughout Europe and the United Kingdom, the inhabitants have opened their doors to visitors to generate money (you have to pay the heating bill!) but Count Roodenbeke firmly believes he and his family are custodians of history, that they are the keepers of an important cultural treasure. He also maintains of tradition of opening his doors to the locals for festivals and flower shows. Apparently the castle is 'the' happening place at Hallowe'en.

Count Roodenbeke proudly speaks of his family's connections to royals and cultural leaders, but like anyone else he's a family man. One of his sons works in IT in the United States. But his successor, the eldest, has been chosen, so you can expect the castle to put out the welcoming mat for another generation at least.

You can visit Castle Ooidonk throughout most of the year. For more travel information, check out the robust Visit Flanders web site.

I love books, and if you are here, you probably feel the same way. And there are others like us – all over the world. That’s why I wanted to start an informal book club, where we can share ideas and good books we've read with each other.

In fact, here is a crazy story. There is an artist in Scotland that has left little treasures, mysterious paper sculptures, all over the city, celebrating the role of books and libraries in our lives.

I have read this story almost as many times as Anne of Green Gables, one of my all-time favourites. Check it out. The anonymous artist left notes along with the beautiful creations, including one that read, “A gift in support of libraries, books, words, ideas…and all things *magic.*”

And that is how I feel about books, I think they are a little bit of magic in my life, they open doors into worlds that would be totally unaccessible otherwise. They are a little break sometimes in a routine day. If the book is really good, I become obsessed, rushing through errands, dinners, phone conversations, so I can get back to it. With a cup of tea and a good read, I think to myself, it does not get much better that this.

And so I am happy to champion books – and festivals about books, too. This weekend, Steven Page (of Barenaked Ladies fame) opens the TD National Reading Campaign in Vancouver. As a child, he read and wrote voraciously, and self-published his own picture books, comics, and later, books of poetry.  He says he reads for information, comfort and inspiration now.

Right now, I’m reading Vincent Lam’s The Headmaster’s Wager (Doubleday Canada, 2012). Lam is also the author of the Scotiabank Giller Prize–winning short story collection, Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures. It’s a rich, moving and suspenseful read. I can’t wait to get to the end, except that I  don't want it to end!

I have 20 copies of The Headmaster’s Wager to give away this month! Send me a comment telling me what you're reading and you could get one. And, here's the best part, if you send me a review, you could have it published in a future issue or on this blog.