In my last post, I wrote about birth order and how it defines who we are. It got me thinking about the little people I brought into this world and how I see them.
They're kinda like my cake.
My oldest – she is the cake batter. The beginning. She awakened a whole new part of my soul that I didn't even know existed. I love her best because she started this whole family thing and made me yearn for so much more. A wonderful introduction to this thing called parenthood.
My only son – he is the freshly baked cake. The so very necessary delicious centre. He is the continuation on this journey of ours. I love him best because he introduced me to all things "boy" and helped me see the world through a whole new lens.
The cake batter, the freshly baked cake and the icing.
My youngest – she is the icing on the cake, complete with cherries and a dollop of whipped cream. She is the sweet ending to our little group. The final addition. I love her best because she completes this little family of ours with a bit of fancy flair.
I couldn't satisfy my cake-loving sweet tooth if I didn't have them all. Something just wouldn't be right. Something would always be missing.
This week I got a text: “view kony2012 docu on youtube.” Because it was from a family member that I love and trust, and because I’m smart enough to figure out that “docu” is short for “documentary,” I did.
I have often thought, but for geography, this is how I get to live my life, and millions of others in the world live very differently. This is a thought that filmmaker Jason Russell brings up in the documentary Kony 2012, a film created by Invisible Children.
This week, it's become an unlikely viral phenomenon with more than 80 million views. The film advocates making Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony famous, so that he can be arrested and held responsible for his crime: enslaving more than 30,000 people. The film calls on supporters to lobby the government, and buy posters, t-shirts and wrist bands to publicize Kony’s name so he can be captured by the end of the year.
You would think that an audience in Uganda would support the film. But at a screening, they threw rocks. They were unhappy that the film has been made now, since Kony and his fighters have moved into the Central African Republic, South Sudan and the Democratic Republic of Congo after fleeing northern Uganda six years ago. They have other more pressing porblems now they are dealing with, such as nodding disease, which is affecting thousands of children.
And there is this, too: “There was a strong sense from the audience that the video was insensitive to African and Ugandan audiences, and that it did not accurately portray the conflict or the victims," Victor Ochen of the African Youth Initiative Network, said in a statement. “In particular, viewers were outraged by the KONY 2012 campaign’s strategy to make Kony famous and their marketing of items with his image."
Are we looking at this through a North American lens? Is is good? Is it bad? Actually, I think it is inspiring.
1. If awareness is the first step, this filmaker made me (and many others) aware of the name Joseph Kony. Am I ashamed I did not know? Yes. But now, I can't say, “I didn't know” anymore.
2. Yes, it’s not a perfect documentary. But it’s one person’s attempt at trying to make a difference in the world. It has to start somewhere. And I believe that any action is better than no action. Especially an action that comes from the heart.
3. Yes, Kony may be gone from Uganda, but does that make it any better? He was responsible for these atrocities. Now he should be held responsible.
I want to give the last word to Father Benoit Kinalegu, the head of the Catholic Diocesan Commission for Justice and Peace in Dungu. “The young man who is the engine of the film, his words are still good words and it’s good that these words are spread,” he said in a phone interview. “Our wish is the wish in the video: the arrest of Joseph Kony.”
And that is all, that is the seed of the inspiration. What about you? Do you find anything inspiring in Kony 2012?
Last week, my 7-year-old daughter told me I was the worst mom ever – all because she thought I had eaten the last heart-shape Krispy Kreme doughnut. In reality, I had packed it in her lunch bag along with a little note as a special Valentine's Day treat.
Needless to say, she ruined the surprise that morning and sent me on a path of self-doubt.
Today's children do not know a world without technology.
Just look all around you.
There's the guy on the bus on his iPad, the school-age child racing home to the computer, the teenage girl sitting in the coffee shop and texting on her cellphone, the young boy rocking out to the tunes on his mp3 player.
There's no hiding it. We live a fast-paced digital world.
As a parent, it can be very overwhelming.
Much of it is still foreign to me.
At first, I thought I would just shelter my children from the online world. No cellphones, no Facebook and limited computer access.
But I've since come to the realization that that's simply not an option.
Denying my kids access to our digital world is like asking them to take up shelter under a rock.
I need to embrace digital parenting.
I need to educate myself in how to use the digital devices and media the kids are using today.
Although I may find it difficult to guide them in an area where they know more than I, I can certainly put some rules into place - rules that will ease my worries and allow them to live freely in the 21st century.
Keep the computer in a central place and have it accessible to the entire family
Ask for passwords for social media sites. I've learned that this is the best way to protect them from online problems.
Never allow them to subscribe to any newsletters or fill out any forms or questionnaires without my permission.
Be clear with them about the potential problems that come with engaging in electronic communications. All Internet and text messages leave a trail that is easily accessible.
As they grow up, get jobs and start purchasing their own electronic equipment, I'm sure I will be faced with new challenges. But for now, I'm feeling a little more in control in an ever-expanding online world.
Did you make any New Year's resolutions this year?
I thought it would be fun to ask our youngest friends that question. I was curious to know what kind of self-made promises our children were making to better themselves and the world at large.
The following are cute, fun & inspiring responses from a few of the special little people we share our world with.
I'm going to read one book a week and brush my teeth EVERYDAY without being asked/Joshua,age 13
I'm going to read every night before bed, keep my room clean and kiss Daddy everyday/Jenna, age 8
I'm going to work as hard as possible to get on the honour roll at school/Caitlin, age 15
I want to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle/Jordyn, age 15
I'm going to read more books and play less video & computer games/Tristan, age 12
I'm not going to fight with Morgan anymore, especially when we are flower girls at Steven & Julia's wedding/Hailey, age 7
I'm going to be more responsible. I'm going to do my chores and homework on time so I can have the priviledge of playing with my DS, Wii and the computer/Mackenzie, age 9
My resolution is to eat healthier and exercise more/Morgan, age 6
I resolve to get a new bird friend named Stella for Charlie so he won't be lonely anymore/Michael, age 7
I'm not going to wear a night-time pull-up anymore/Zachary, age 4
I'm going to be nicer to my sister Meghan/Will, age 7
I don't like going to the dentist so I'm going to floss every single night/Mia, age 8
What about the youngsters in your life. What are their resolutions for 2012?
My kids' school hosted an open-house earlier this week.
The kids took pride in showing me their classroom, their desk, their work.
But more importantly, they wanted me to meet their teacher.
Teachers are among the most influential people in our young children's lives.
Our kids spend, on average, 25 hours a week under their guidance.
A good teacher wants to instil knowledge, wisdom and a passion for learning within our children. She wants to see them thrive and succeed and be the best they can possibly be - all the things we want for them as well.
Maintaining a strong parent-teacher relationship can go a long way in ensuring our children experience their greatest academic year yet!
Here are a few tips of what we, as parents, can do to build a healthy parent-teacher relationship.
Go to the Open House. This is a great time to introduce yourself to your child's teacher and to get a sense of the curriculum being taught. This is not the time to corner the teacher with your own concerns. It's preferable to schedule a parent-teacher meeting to discuss your child's strengths and weaknesses.
During parent-teacher conference, respect the teacher's time. Don't arrive late and overstay your assigned time. Come prepared with your questions and concerns and listen without judging.
Stay connected. Keep the lines of communication open throughout the school year. Let the teacher know of any changes to your child's home life (sibling illness, pending divorce, new baby). If your child is experiencing difficulties with a particular lesson, let her know well in advance so you can both figure out a way to help him overcome this hurdle.
If a problem arises between your child and his teacher, maintain a neutral stance until you have further information. Always assume good will on the teacher's part. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. Instead, contact the teacher and ask for her point of view. When both the parent and teacher stay focused on the problem at hand, things can usually be worked out.
We want nothing more than to see our children be happy and successful in life. Likewise, it's the teacher's goal as well.
"The greatest sign of a success for a teacher...is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." Maria Montessori.
At the end of the day, we're on the same team.
Everyone benefits from a strong parent-teacher relationship.
It's as clear as day.
Do you remember your favourite teacher? What made him/her stand out from the rest?
An Ottawa radio station is hosting a contest where women have the chance to win three IVF treatments. The prize, valued at over $35,000, could help boost the winner's chance of conceiving a baby.
A dream come true?
According to the Hot 89.9 web site:
"It is some people’s lifelong dream to conceive a baby, but not everyone can. If you’re in that situation The New Hot 89-9 is swooping in like a big beautiful stork to make your dreams of changing diapers a reality."
Controversial contest
The contest has been gaining international attention, which has not always been positive. In the U.K., the Daily Mail reports:
"Hot 89.9's Morning Hot Tub show, which is running the competition, has been unapologetic and brags on its website that it is the 'first in history' to be making such an offer.
Its disturbing advert features a baby staring out at the camera holding up a sign saying: 'Win me!' although with the caveat underneath that 'Baby may not be exactly as shown'.
Listeners complained that the contest was sending out the wrong message, not least to the child whose parents will have to explain the story of how he was born."
Here at home, Andrew Lovesey has this to say in the National Post:
"Having children is not a frivolous decision. And the blessing of a new child shouldn’t be treated in the same way as a free breakfast at a pancake house, or a week-long holiday at a Cuban resort. But you wouldn’t know that from listening to an Ottawa radio station that is using a prize of in-vitro fertilization treatments as a contest promotion…
…The very premise of the contest insults the sanctity of life. The idea of “winning” a child is itself offensive in the extreme, belittling life, making childbirth into a marketing gimmick. It also has the effect of making an object (a prize) out of a human being."
"I certainly dislike the commodification of babies, turning babies into products ... However, I am pleased that it brings attention to the plight, to the expense that infertile couples that require IVF must go through to have a baby."
What do you think? Does this contest leave a bad taste in your mouth? Or are you glad it's drawing attention to the struggles some couples have conceiving? Leave a comment and let me know.
Part 2 is You're never too young to...Give and Be Thankful;
My kids are not perfect - sometimes they behave in a way that I'm not proud of. But every time that happens I reinforce and remind them of how fortunate they are.
They have grandparents who still have the energy to take them to the park - or at least pretend to. Because I know - how tired they really are.
So please kids - listen to your grandparents, give them a kiss and say "hello", hold their hands crossing the street, don't chase after the ice cream truck! It's hard for them to keep up.
Those times with grandparents are moments that will forever be cherished - appreciate them. Value them. Treasure them.
Share and Donate-
Have children share and donate their toys. Let them decide which toy they want to donate or maybe sell at a garage sale. Just so you don't part with something that is meaningful to them. Money from the garage sale can be donated to the charity of your child's choice - the hospital he was born in, the school she attends, the neighbourhood library.
Show them the value of giving to others who don't have as much toys as they do. How happy another child will be.
Donate used books to the school library. Our school excepts toys for the junior kindergarden class.
Acknowledgement -
Have your child show appreciation and thanks. Children can write thank you cards for gifts, thank you note for the crossing guard, the wading pool attendant that watched them swim all summer. Let them drop it in the mailbox or hand-deliver.
Words - words do mean a lot. Remember "Thank You", "Please", "I love you" - it always makes the receipent feel so much better.
At any age, we should always be thankful.
Our country -We live in an amazing country with so many choices. With amazing teachers and healthcare workers.
Our family and friends- that bond of love that gives us strenght and support - unconditionally.
Our neighbourhood Ice Cream Man - who makes everything better. Oh, the power of ice-cream!
They are never too young to start being independent, confident and responsible.
That's how I feel about my boys.
I want them to grow up to be amazing, thoughtful, caring men. Who are independent and accountable for their actions.
I realize they are only 6 and 3 years old, but they are at the most impressionable age and the most intelligent age.
Now is the time. We set examples through our actions.
Part 1 of 3 is Get Organized.
Get Organized
Children should care for their toys. Not only responsible for putting them away, but caring for them - repairing them, putting all the pieces that belong together, wiping them. This way they can easily find them and they're ready to go.
Homework/books should be kept separate and cared for - to be read over and over again.
Have your children do a personalized calendar each month - they can mark or put stickers for appointments, family birthdays, soccer practices, anything your child wants to highlight.
Duties around the house. Placing the dirty laundry in the hamper. Dirty plastic cups in the sink. These tasks help Mom and Dad.
With these little tasks comes responsibility along with pride for those little ones.
End of school parties, Yearbook signing, Exams, Daydreaming in class, Focused on the end of the school day bell...
All signs that the end of the school year is here. Yay!
For us working parents, our day to day lives go on as normal (other than the occasional summer getaway), but the kids are looking forward to lazy summer days.
No alarm clocks. No assignments. No homework. No schedules.
Just a whole lot of staying up late, sleeping in and enjoying the dog days of summer.
Ahhhhhhh. Life doesn't get any better than that, does it?
I hate to burst their bubble.
It all sounds so awesome and wonderful and, well... so darn lovely, doesn't it?
But I'm about to put a wrench in their plans.
You see, they're old enough now to stay home on their own.
No more babysitters.
No more Grandma.
No more homemade chicken soup .
Which means the torch has now been passed on to them - the children of the home.
Which means our home is theirs between the hours of 9-5.
Which means they're not spending the day at the babysitter or Grandma isn't coming over to make them lunch and wash the dishes and sweep the floors.
Which means... THEY DARN WELL BETTER CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES!
I'm going to put a chore list on the fridge with each child's responsibility. I expect that the house be tidy, beds made, dishes washed, floors swept and children happy by the time I walk through the door after work.
Is that too much?
Do you think teens & pre-teens should be given more responsibility during the summer months?
Let Pam Mazzuca Prebeg, Canadian Living's fitness expert, guide you through a great tricep workout. Complete her routine of five arm exercises three to four times a week for best results.
We've married our sumptuous butter chicken recipe with the ease of the slow cooker to create the ultimate Slow Cooker Butter Chicken. Food director Annabelle Waugh walks you through the steps in this video for a restaurant-worthy dinner every time.
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