16. Rent some movies so your friend can enjoy some in-house entertainment with baby. (If you want to stick to babies as the theme, the cult classic Raising Arizona is a must.)
17. Think wash-and-wear. You'll be doing your friend a tremendous favour if you steer clear of cutesy and ironable and gravitate toward practical and washable when you're picking out baby gifts for the new arrival.
18. Don't forget about mothering the mother -- a tried-and-true tradition in many cultures. If mother-adrenaline has your friend spinning like a top, try to convince her to take a warm bath and catch up on her sleep. She needs to conserve her energy. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint event.
19. Remind her that motherhood is a team sport. At her baby shower, get everyone to fill out coupons offering a specific type of help to the mother and baby. That way, the mom won't be quite so reluctant to call in favours. She'll simply be "cashing in coupons."
20. Help her to feel that she is part of a chain of women that spans from generation to generation. This is her time to receive. She will have plenty of time to give. For now she should just relax and accept the love and gifts from other women. That will be your greatest gift to your friend.
Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Baby Books and the newly published Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage. Visit Ann online at www.having-a-baby.com.
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