New parents have a lot to deal with as they learn to care for their baby -- lack of sleep and mountains of laundry are only the beginning. So it's only natural they need a break once in a while to spend time with each other. But leaving baby behind with a babysitter isn't as simple as it may have seemed before he was born. From the practical considerations of feeding and finding a good sitter to the emotional aspects of spending time apart from your infant, there's a lot to think about. Here are the basics on leaving your newborn behind for the first time.

From expectations to reality
Don't be surprised if your pre-baby expectations of life after birth don't mesh with postpartum reality, whether the considerations are practical or emotional. "Before I had Katherine, I thought I'd leave her with my mother or mother-in-law quite frequently," says Melanie Richter of Montreal, whose daughter is three months old, "but I wanted to breast-feed exclusively, and reality set in." Richter was not alone in having to alter her pre-baby conceptions to fit reality. "Before I was a parent," says Jeremy O'Krafka of Toronto, whose daughter, Bryndoven, recently turned one, "I expected that we would leave our child with a babysitter frequently. Now one year into parenthood, my reality seems so different."

When to go, and for how long
Timing is a personal choice and depends on factors such as whether your baby breast-feeds exclusively and if you have willing babysitters that you trust available. Make the decision based on your own comfort levels. Pediatrician Dr. Cathryn Tobin, author of The Lull-a-Baby Sleep Plan (Wiley, 2006), suggests taking brief trips out until you feel confident. "Keep it short and sweet until you know how your sitter and baby cope," she says. And remember that different couples' choices differ: While Richter and her husband had their first outing when their daughter was only a couple of weeks old, Marsha Moshinsky of Toronto waited until six months -- even though she had expected before birth to go out after only a few months.

Also understand that it's okay to desire time away from your baby -- everyone needs a break, not to mention quality time as a couple, with an adult level of conversation. "It is very important for a couple with a newborn to have the chance to enjoy their time as a couple together," says Richter. She and her husband have decided now that their daughter is closer to three months old to have one date night a month (two, if they're lucky) for about three or four hours.

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