Visiting the new mom

A new baby – you can hardly wait to congratulate the happy parents. But before you rush off to have your first look at the newborn, consider that most new parents find dealing with Baby's many visitors a difficult task. Fearful of hurting feelings and torn between their desire to show off the baby and the need for rest and privacy, new parents often allow Baby's guests to overstay their welcome.

Whether you're a friend or relative, here are a few guidelines to follow to help make those first visits a pleasant experience for all concerned.

Hospital visits
• Phone the father and inquire whether the new mom is feeling up to receiving visitors, especially if she's had a difficult labor or a caesarean section. Some couples prefer to limit visitors to immediate family only, so Mom can get the rest she needs.
• Keep your hospital visit brief. Fifteen minutes is long enough to see the baby and offer your congratulations. Remember, you're probably not Baby's only visitor and there will be time for longer visits once Mom and Baby are home.
• Postpone your visit to the hospital if you're ill with a cold or flu.

Home visits
• Phone in advance to make sure it's a convenient time.
• Knock on the door instead of ringing the bell.
• Keep your visit short, no longer than an hour.
• Try to curtail helpful baby care advice unless your opinion is sought. Remember, too, that breast-feeding moms may feel very self-conscious about nursing. Keep your comments positive.

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