Childhood faith questioning

God questions

Where is God? Does God sneeze? What happens to us when we die? Why did God let my dog die?

All kids ask questions about God. And if you're like many Canadian parents, you find it very difficult to answer them. Your religious information may be thin. You may not have attended a religious service other than a wedding or a funeral since you were a child yourself. Church attendance has steadily declined in Canada since the Second World War. Today, less than a quarter of Canadians attend religious services weekly.

One could assume from our lack of interest in religious services that Canada is essentially a nation of non-believers. Hardly! According to 2001 census data, 83.5 per cent of Canadians identify themselves as belonging to a particular religion, while 16.5 per cent do not.

God talk
You know that your child has spiritual questions when he uses the word God. But his spiritual concerns are just as likely to be about the meaning of life, death, and suffering. Why does Grandma have cancer and feel so bad that she has to be in the hospital all the time? His religious questions can also centre on forgiveness and hope. Why should he forgive Daddy for leaving and going to live with another family?

If you're unsure about your own beliefs, you may inadvertently change the subject when your child asks about God or give a dismissive reply that closes the door on discussion. If you don't want God to become a taboo topic in your home, encourage your child's questions by sharing your own feelings and beliefs. Even if you've had little religious training, you still have beliefs.

Try responding to your child's God questions with "I, too, have wondered about that," or "I've come to believe..," or "I'm still working on that question, but I think..." Don't worry that you can't give your child definitive answers. Neither can the wisest priest or minister or rabbi. Spirituality develops through a process of asking questions, discussing the varied answers that all religions provide, and pondering your own beliefs.

For many children and adults, the tough question about God is "Why doesn't God stop bad things from happening?" Your child may envision God as sitting on a cloud watching people suffer. Many Christians believe that when a person suffers, God suffers, too. They turn to God for healing comfort. Your child may want to know bow you feel in situations like this.

Other people feel that God works in their lives every day, even on the bad days This, idea may feel right to your child, and he'll be delighted at the opportunity to share all sorts of experiences that he considers miracles. Or your child may find the idea that God is involved in all the activities of her everyday life so unappealing that it sends her into fit of the giggles.

If you can help your child feel comfortable talking about God, you may open a window onto her spirituality. You also help prepare her to deal with a crisis, should it occur. When there's a severe illness, death, or other tragedy in her life, she may have urgent God questions, and she'll know she can turn to you to talk them through.