Help kids deal with grief and crisis

How stress may appear
All crises are different, and the reactions of individual children vary with their age, their temperament, and their life experiences. Many of the ways children express stress are different from adult reactions. Your children may exhibit either physical symptoms or behavioural changes, although both may occur, and the problems are not age-specific. Here are examples of physical symptoms.

• gastric upsets such as tummy ache or loss of appetite
• sleep problems such as nightmares and insomnia
• overactivity and inability to concentrate
• bedwetting and bowel accidents
• headaches

Other symptoms of stress are behavioural. Signs of depression such as withdrawal or loss of energy can be seen in children as young as three. But sadness and anger can come out in other forms, such as disruptive behaviour and overactivity. Some children regress to an earlier stage of development, and they need a great deal of reassurance and physical contact, although they might have become quite independent. If a child is worried about the situation at home, she may be afraid to go to school, although she had earlier been a happy student. She is expressing her fear that something dire may happen at home if she's not there to stop it. Other behavioural problems may be caused by stress:

• tantrums
• defiance and negativity
• antisocial behaviour such as destroying things or hurting others
• dependent and clinging behaviour
• ritualized attachment to routine, such as needing the same foods or actions every day
• difficulty separating from parents or caregivers
• being fearful at night
• inability to accept discipline
• being accident-prone