Let's face it: all kids are not created equal. And with varied personalities also comes varied learning strengths and weaknesses. While one of our kids may be the class browner, the other may end up being the class clown. As parents, it is important to understand how to handle each situation.
How do we encourage one of our kids without discouraging the other? How can we reward the kid that got that well-earned C, without always having to reward the one that comes home with straight As -- not having worked at all?
Reward the goal achieved, not the grade received
The solution is to build up a system of goals and rewards that is not specifically related to marks. For example, if your bookworm child needs to work on a broader social life, you could set up a reward for five successful social arrangements. On the other hand, if your athletic kid (who never bothers to open his book and is content with a C) attains his goal of a hard-earned B, then he gets his reward. In this way, you're rewarding the goal attained, not necessarily the mark achieved -- dependent only on what you know each kid needs to work on.
If you just have one child who's having trouble with a particular subject, then the goal and reward could be tied to that subject only. For example, you could say, "When you learn the eight times table, I'll be so proud of you, AND we can even...[fill in your child's favourite thing to do, or the next thing he wants]. We can even write a special agreement between us and post it on the fridge." You could turn the whole thing into a learning experience about agreements, signatures, witnesses, dates, etc.
Page 1 of 2--on page 2: How to coach your child
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