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A self-esteem boost

Four tips to help bolster your child's self-worth.

By Gary Direnfeld

Children with healthy self-esteem feel good about themselves, relate well to others, behave well and are more aware of the world around them. If you'd like to instill these traits in your children, follow these four tips:

1. Show them you value them
Quality and quantity of time demonstrate valuing. Children need to be told directly by their parents or care-giver that they are loved -- praise, hug, kiss, cuddle, and play with them. Few things speak more to being esteemed than just being there.

Other parental behaviours that show you value your children include measures that can aggravate and annoy them -- infant car seats, seat belts, bicycle helmets, gates above stairways, locked cupboards, selective television, appropriate bedtimes and proper snacks. But parents must not be manipulated into ignoring safety concerns just because their children don't want to comply with the boundaries that are in place for their protection.

2. Let them learn
Competency is the next ingredient for developing healthy self-esteem. This means having a sense of control over one's environment -- personal, social and physical.

Parents can promote competency by providing safe areas for children to develop varied skills and by allowing them to participate in household activities such as cooking, cleaning, laundry and making beds. The goal of these activities is for the child to develop a sense of control. Participation should be fun, supportive and helpful.

The greater the control and mastery of skills a child develops, the greater the sense of competency.

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