Ask an expert: Helping boys learn

Next, meet with the teacher to see if he or she knows where there might be some concern. It is important to work together with the teacher to help your son. Teachers want the best for kids and generally appreciate knowing that parents are working with them to make learning work for the child. Communication is critical.

The teacher should have some suggestions about how you can help your son. Sometimes kids pretend that they understand concepts, so teachers might not know that they are confused or not understanding. At this age being 'cool' and looking like you understand matters more than really understanding. Boys hate to ask 'dumb' questions for fear of the ridicule that might follow. What are his work habits like at school? Talk with the teacher about your son's learning style and discuss some of things you know about your son that the teacher might find helpful. That will help make instruction more effective. It is important to let the teacher know that there are some concerns and that you care.

There might be an older child in the school that could act like a tutor to help him understand the concepts he is confused about. Mathematics can be difficult for students in Grade 5. It is when math computation takes a leap into double digits and if the foundational learning of numbers and the concept of 10 is missing, we can see problems.

Report cards are tough things to understand (and to write). As a kid I hated getting them myself and seeing myself reduced to a number or letter grade that generally compared me to the rest of my class. The report card seems to communicate that you are 'good' or 'bad'. Evaluating children is very difficult especially when kids are trying hard and doing their best. Reports are intended to communicate how your child is doing so that you, the parent, are in the loop. Unfortunately they communicate some information that sometimes disheartens and discourages the learner.

Let your child know that report card grades do not affect your love and pride. Grades are only indicators of what the teacher perceives to be the achievement at that moment in time and those marks can go up with just a little effort by the student, the teacher and the parent. Let him know that he is not stupid and help him make a list of all the things that he is good at. Also help him to see that math matters in life so he will see the purpose in working on it. Celebrate him as a learner.

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