Blended bliss

Teen moods 101
Teens tend to be emotionally charged by nature; their hormones are in overdrive and they're experiencing big life changes. When you add merging families to the mix, tensions are bound to arise. Understanding your teen's emotions will help both of you manage them.

• Few teens know how to express or deal with their sadness, so it often comes out as anger. Both biological and step-parents are common targets for this anger. This is especially true when step-parents overstep their boundaries and take the lead on discipline.

• Many teens feel frustrated or anxious if their new step-parent tries to enforce any discipline, because they know that it's not the step-parent's role. Again, these emotions can get translated into anger.

• Often teens express their anger with aggression, rather than assertion, and may “act out” in response to their new living situation.

Go one-on-one
Teens want and need a relationship with their parents. If you're too busy building a new relationship with another person, your teen may feel sad and abandoned. Try to spend at least one or two hours a week alone with your teen. Find an event that you both enjoy. Popular activities that many teens and parents enjoy together include: playing board games and sports, watching movies, shopping or making favourite meals together.

For more help:
It's not always easy, but it's certainly possible to blend families blissfully. These resources will guide you in that direction.

• Stepmothers & Stepdaughters: Relationships of Chance, Friendships for a Lifetime (Council Oak, 2002) by Karen L. Annarino

• Blending Families (The Berkley Publishing Group, 1999) by Elaine Shimberg

Also visit:
• www.parentbooks.ca/stepfamilies.html
• www.investinkids.ca
• www.keepkidshealthy.com
• www.blended-families.com