When a newborn enters a family, it can be difficult for Mom and Dad to feel like they're both getting equal time and providing equal care for the baby. Mothers have an intense physical and emotional bond with their children, one that comes from carrying them for nine months; it's a bond that's hard for fathers to rival. But caring for baby shouldn't turn into a competition that leads to feelings of exclusion and inadequacy. Fathers can create a bond that's equally as strong by committing to staying involved.
Parenting expert Kathy Lynn says that often, dads just aren't given the chance to help out with a new baby. "Every time baby fusses, Mom picks her up even though it's not always about needing to feed," Lynn says. "So, just like a new mom, Dad needs to spend time with the baby."
Lynn offers the following 10 tips to help fathers connect with their children.
1. Just do it! Lynn recommends jumping in with both feet from the moment your baby arrives. "Hold the baby, cuddle him, rock him," she says. Physical closeness will help your baby to recognize your touch and the sound of your voice. This will lead to trust and will provide your baby with a sense of safety and security.
2. Trust yourself. "Moms are just as nervous at first, although they often don't show it," says Lynn. "Just because baby doesn't stop crying immediately does not mean you are making a mistake." (Read about understanding baby's crying.)
3. Spend time alone with baby. Without an audience, you may feel more confident and will figure out what works and what doesn't work more quickly.
4. Attend a parenting workshop or course with your wife or partner so you can learn together.
5. Go to your baby's first checkup. Staying informed and educated will help you to feel more involved and less in the dark.
Looking for ways to spoil your wife after baby is born? Read our post-pregnancy pampering tips.
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