Discussion points for parents-to-be

When the first contraction signals that your baby is on the way, the decisions you will have to make come thick and fast in the following hours and days. Prior to that busy time and while it's still just the two of you, talk through some of the issues you know will arise. Remind each other that your decisions don't have to be carved in stone, that you'll most likely review them after you've had some input from the addition to your family.

Birth plan and newborn care plan
A birth plan, written by you and your partner, describes how you want your labour and delivery to proceed — insofar as you have control over these events. Your family physician, obstetrician, midwife, or doula can explain which options are open to you and could even help you prepare your plan. This is a good topic for your prenatal class, where other expectant parents as well as the instructor should have lots of ideas. The plan can be as simple or as detailed as you like. It should cover the medications you want or don't want, your preferences about moving around during labour, the roles your partner and support person will play, and what medical interventions you would prefer.

A newborn care plan should cover your wishes for how your infant will be treated while in the hospital, whether he will stay with you immediately after the birth, and whether he'll be allowed sugar water while in the hospital nursery. Discuss your plans with your family physician or midwife and take into consideration your hospital's restrictions for birthing rooms. Even though you should be prepared to accept changes as you move through the experience, the process of working through these plans ahead of time makes it much more likely they'll occur as planned.

What newborns look like
It's not uncommon for parents to think their newborn baby looks perfect in every respect. Yet most newborns show obvious signs of the laborious journey through the birth canal. Typically, a baby born vaginally will have a large pointed head, puffy eyes, and flattened nose. She may have a full head of hair or she may look bald. She may be covered in a white, creamy protective coating, called vernix, and in fine body hair, called lanugo. Newborns often have swollen genitals and breasts. Their nipples may secrete a white or pink fluid, and girls may have some vaginal secretions. Babies born by cesarean section will look less the worse for wear. You may wonder why every other baby in the hospital nursery is so odd-looking compared to your little beauty. But chances are, a few years down the road vhen you're looking at her birth photos, you'll be surprised to see how obvious are the marks of birthing to which you had previously been blind.