Discussion points for parents-to-be

Recording your child's development
Some of us know the delight of rediscovering our baby selves through the baby books and mementos carefully kept by our parents. Consider that you've become the keeper of your family history, and discuss together how you'd like to record the story of your child and your life together. There will be so many remarkable, funny, magical moments, but you'll be so busy and weary that your brain won't be able to retain them all. A memoir will be an invaluable keepsake. Baby books are a delightful gift to receive, but a scrapbook or notebook in which you can record special moments will be just as precious. Write in it often, even if it's only a few lines; add photos and special mementos. (You might drop an inexpensive camera into the baby's diaper bag for spur-of-the-moment shots.) If that's not your style, select a large box with a tight lid as your babys memento box and keep whatever holds meaning for you.

You may receive a Health Record booklet in the hospital or from your doctor. It contains specific sections in which to keep track of your baby's immunizations, illnesses, and injuries. It could prove an important source of information in the future, so you might also record in it any problems you experienced during pregnancy and a description of your delivery. Keep it up to date with charts of weight and height, results of dental and eye examinations, details of food sensitivities or allergies, and related notes on the familys health history.

Is there sex after baby?
If there werern't, there sure would be a lot of only children. But in the weeks or even months after a new baby arrives, you may wonder if passion will ever again come into the chaos called home life. Heed your doctor's warning to avoid intercourse for six weeks following a vaginal birth or four weeks after a cesarean. A new mother's body needs time to heal.

Both partners might worry that intercourse will hurt the woman, and sometimes it does -- nursing mothers have little natural vaginal lubrication. Most new mothers, whether adoptive or birth mothers, usually feel little desire for sexual intercourse. When she's short of sleep and has a baby glued to her body half the day and night, a woman may not feel like sharing more of her physical self. But both of you need to share your emotional selves. Talking to your partner about how you each feel may be the sexiest thing you can do right now. Don't deny each other the intimacy of touching and cuddling, even if that's all you're up to.

When you are ready for sex, take it slowly. Have a lubricant at hand, if
necessary, and don't forget contraception. You may ovulate even while you're nursing, and even if your menstrual period hasn't started again. Don't limit lovermaking to the evening when you both may be tired. Try to time romance for when your baby is asleep, but don't get too discouraged when she interrupts you. Babies seem to know when you would most wish not to be disturbed. Persevere. It will get better.

Excerpted from Growing with Your Child: pre-Birth to age 5 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1998 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.