How to get kids to sleep

Young kids (six to nine)
The problem: Scary dreams. Nightmares are a part of growing up. They are the result of normal daytime emotional struggles, not underlying emotional problems.

The worst mistake parents unwittingly make: When a child wakes up from a bad dream, he wants to be comforted and to know that he's safe. But at the same time, you need to be careful not to start any habits you'll later regret, such as crawling into his bed to sleep with him or bringing him into your bed.

The solution: Give the little guy a big hug, and say good night again. If he resists, say, "How about I come back and check on you in a few minutes?" If nightmares are a frequent occurrence, try to determine what's on your child's mind. Then, use daytime to work on the issues that are causing him grief.

Tricks of the trade:
•Realize a child is 10 times more likely to have a nightmare than an adult.
•If your child is having frequent nightmares, plan ahead. Ask your child to pick a favourite memory and to think about this when he wakes up.
•Encourage transitional objects. They provide reassurance, support and a sense of connection in times of stress.

Older kids (10 and up)
The problem: Partial sleep arousal. Sleepwalking is a partial sleep arousal. In other words, a youngster may appear awake, her eyes may be open and she may move about, however, she's neither awake nor asleep. Sleep terrors and talking in your sleep are also due to partial arousals. Luckily, these generally occur in the early part of the night. Partial arousals occur in all age groups.

The most common mistake parents unwittingly make: Trying to wake a child who is sleepwalking or having a night terror. This can increase her agitation and may lead to injuries or make matters worse.

The solution: Don't try and wake your child; instead, talk to her quietly and calmly, and see if you can guide her back to bed. If your child doesn't react negatively to your touch, lead her back to bed. If your child is agitated when sleepwalking, it's best to hold back and refrain from intervening unless she's doing something dangerous.

Tricks of the trade:
•Make the environment as safe as possible. For instance, keep floors uncluttered and hallways well lit and put a bell on the child's door so you can hear if she leaves her room during the night.
•Ensure your child is getting adequate sleep because this will sometimes reduce partial arousals, especially when it comes to younger children.
•Have a chat with your health-care provider if wild thrashing and other dangers are present.

What to do when your best efforts fail
If your child's sleep habits don't improve, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, nor does it imply your child is difficult or a slow learner. Some of us -- including our little ones -- simply resist change more vigorously than others. If you're not seeing any improvements within a week, consider the following: Am I sending my child mixed signals? Is consistency a problem? How does my child eventually fall asleep? If answering these questions doesn't clarify the situation for you, seek an objective opinion from your health-care provider.