When it comes to finding a babysitter, Patricia Bulley admits she's a bit of a stalker mom. "I'm always scouting girls out, watching to see how mature they are," she says, laughing. Patricia, who has two daughters, Abby, 6, and Ella, 3, works shift work, so having a roster of reliable sitters on hand is essential. But as so many parents quickly discover, they aren't always easy to find – or keep.
Especially the good ones. Hayley, 14, is the babysitting mogul of her west Toronto neighbourhood. Hayley's mother, police Det. Sgt. Pauline Gray, began preparing her daughter for the responsibility of caring for other people's children long before Hayley hung out her shingle. "We started off by paying her to occupy our friends' younger children when we had dinner parties," says Pauline. "Now she's generating her own flyers and business cards."
Whether you're in Patricia's position of trying to line up a babysitter you trust or you're helping prep your own tween for the job, you'll find the smartest strategies come from seasoned pros. We asked babysitting experts – including satisfied parents and teens in the trenches – for their tried-and-true advice on what works and what doesn't.
Picking the perfect sitter
As desperate as you may be for an adult night out, don't let down your guard. ''Parents take too many risks with their sitters,'' says Samantha Wilson, president of Kidproof Child Safety and author of The Babysitter's Handbook (Kidproof Safety, 2007). ''They don't take the time they would in any other situation involving their children.'' Here’s how to make hiring a babysitter a relatively worry-free experience.
Know who you're hiring
Don’t wait until you’re in a jam to start looking for a sitter, then turn to Craigslist or Kijiji, warns Wilson. The best place to recruit is among relatives, friends and neighbours. Knowing the sitter's family brings peace of mind, says Marc Scott*, father of Pamela, 5, and Jimmy, 2. ''If the parents are trustworthy, then you expect they're raising their kids a certain way, too.''
When Patricia takes her daughters to drop-ins and their co-op nursery school, she uses the opportunity to chat up the nannies and babysitters, and she makes inquiries at her church. She also makes a point of scouting out potential candidates at her local park. ''There's one girl who is only in Grade 7, but she's always nice to Abby and she seems more mature. I'll keep my eye on her.'' Finding a sitter with a younger sibling is a bonus, adds Patricia, who is always looking one step ahead. ''Once they reach 16, you have about six months to a year before they leave you. My hope is that when the older girl is ready to move on, the younger sibling will be ready to take her place.''
Do your homework
Get multiple references – and follow up. They can be from neighbours, teachers, other babysitting clients or the soccer coach. Ask open-ended questions such as, 'Tell me about Sally,' or 'What's she like with other children?' ''You're trying to get a sense of the patience and maturity level of the sitter,'' says Wilson. If you like what you hear, set up an interview and watch how the sitter interacts with your children. While maturity and good judgment are key, you also want someone who genuinely likes children and will do fun things with them.
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