The most common question we get has nothing to do with our work as activists – it has to do with our work as brothers.
When people think siblings, they think rivalry. Then they hear how we co-founded Free The Children when we were young or how we co-authored three books. A few have seen us working together on our development projects. More have seen us sharing the stage for a speech.
All of them instantly want to know how we get along.
If you ask us, we'll tell you about the importance of family, our mutual respect and how we never fight.
If our Mom is in earshot, she'll tell you a different story.
Growing up
On more than one occasion she has put us in our place by recounting the epic battles we fought as kids. They weren't pretty. We don't envy her stepping into the chaos formed by our headlocks and amateur wrestling moves.
Thankfully we grew out of that. It's been at least a few weeks since we scuffled over who gets the last chicken wing.
Despite our battles, we developed a mutual respect for each other's talents (and not just Marc's strength as a former rugby player). Through recognizing these unique strengths, we've been able to work together.
"As a parent, it's important to be wise in helping children appreciate their own gifts and talents and not compare them to their siblings," says Diane Marshall, clinical director at the Institute for Family Living Toronto. "It's about helping to create an environment where co-operation, not competition is the norm."
Many family therapists say the trick is to ditch praise and embrace encouragement. When you tell a child that everything they do is the best, their sibling may feel left out. They get the sense their talents aren't as good or that you love the other child more.
Page 1 of 2 – on page two: more on sibling rivalry.
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