How to help your child deal with peer pressure

"Well, if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?"

Ah, the tried and true retort of every parent who's just heard, "But Mom! Everyone else is doing it!"

Our mom, like most parents, wanted us to grow up making decisions free from the stress of our social crowd. She didn't want us being led to the edge of that proverbial bridge.

Positive peer pressure
But, peer pressure can be a positive thing – if your child is hanging out with a positive peer group.

For our mom, the parenting challenge changed. Instead of trying to influence us to reject those social pressures around us, she encouraged us to hang around with a more constructive group of friends.

It wasn't always easy. When we were young, Marc became fast friends with a classmate. The two began hanging out after school and the young friend revealed a fascination with knives. With little parental supervision at the house, our mom was concerned about the influence this boy was having and also their safety.

Developing the right kind of friends
She knew she couldn't control the twosome's schoolyard activities and that simply saying no would only inspire rebellion. But there was one way she could have an influence. Marc was young after all and the boy's house was far away. So, she began saying no to driving Marc to and from the friend's house.

It was subtle but it worked. Our mom continued to make her car available for rides to after-school clubs and other friend's houses. Slowly, the Marc's friendship with the boy waned and he found a new, more positive peer group.

That's when she changed her approach. Soon our mom was inviting Marc's new friends over to our house. She would order pizza for everyone and rent movies to make sure they all had a good time. This helped develop the friendship and soon our mom didn't have to worry about who her son was hanging out with.  

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