Kids feel stress, too

All kids feel stress, but they show it in different ways. Your child might complain of aches and pains or lack of sleep, be clingy or whiny, erupt with temper tantrums or pick fights. She might try to avoid school or other situations, she might have trouble concentrating and appear lazy, or she may lack motivation and withdraw into a shell. Or she may fall ill frequently with colds, the flu, or other infections.

Each child has her own characteristic way of showing her stress, which parents have to learn how to read. If she's acting stressed, assume there's a reason that she's uptight or upset. A seven-year-old may refuse to do an activity that she previously enjoyed. Take that as a signal that she's worried about something related to that activity. Don't blame her for how, she feels; it will only make her feel worse. Talk to and listen to your child to find out what's really going on.

A twelve-year-old may tell you angrily what an idiot his teacher is when he's really worried that he hasn't understood fractions and is getting low marks in mathematics. Get your child to express his fears by asking, in a nonjudgmental way, about the teacher. Why does he dislike the teacher? How does the teacher treat him? How does the teacher explain things? Once your son starts talking to you, his underlying problem or fear will emerge.