Not an only child anymore: Helping your child adjust to a new sibling

Being an only child rocks. You're the centre of your parents' universe, you get to name the pets, you have the backseat of the car to yourself, and chances are, you're the apple of Grandma and Grandpa's eyes. But suddenly, the bump in Mommy's belly turns into a real live brother or sister… and your world's never the same again.

While most kids will bond with their new siblings – involving them in the pregnancy by having them come along on doctor's appointments, and helping you prepare baby's layette will help – the adjustment from Only Child to First Child can sometimes take time. Here are some tips for helping your firstborn cope.

Toddlers
Child No. 1 may soon never even recall a time when she was an only child. Cool. (But the challenge for parents is dealing with diapers and dependence times two!)
• Give him a baby doll he can take care of, just as you take care of your new baby.
• If he's moving out of the nursery, start the process a few months before your second child arrives so you have the energy to help him adjust, and so he doesn't "blame" baby for the move.
• If you have the energy, stagger their naptimes so you have some one-on-one time with him while baby sleeps.

Preschoolers
Some experts believe kids between 18 months and 3 years of age have the hardest time adjusting to this life change. Be patient, involve him, and get him psyched about his role introducing baby to world and vice versa.
• Don't share the news too early. It can be hard to be patient for nine months. (Also, miscarriages can happen even if your first pregnancy was complication-free, and explaining what happened won’t be easy.) Later in your pregnancy, feel free to take him along for your ultrasound appointments.
• Sign him up for a sibling orientation session at the hospital.
• Enlist that preschooler desire to help. Ask him to fetch diapers, to entertain baby at "the other end" while you change diapers, to help you feed baby, and so on.

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