One man's struggle to become a dad

Why be a dad?
People have always said that I have a knack with youth. There came a time several years ago, after I wrote and directed a play about bullying, starring school-age actors, that I consciously thought to myself: I really love spending time with kids. Why don't I do this for real – as a father? You get to a point in your life where you need something to be more complete. For me, it was becoming a parent. It's what I needed to be me. My clock was ticking. I was 36. I wasn't in a relationship but I knew I could get a lot out of parenting.

I wrote my first letter to Children's Aid in late 2003 stating I wanted to explore adoption. My request was rejected. It was a blow. It was clear in my mind that they had turned me down because I was a single man. I wrote them a letter using the word discrimination. They called to set up a meeting. That was my opening, and I jammed my foot in the door.

Biological clocks and nurturing skills
In the meeting I was emphatic: "You allow single females to adopt. Do you not think it's a possibility that a man also has the same needs, the same biological clock ticking, the same ability to nurture?" It worked. I was invited to attend an information session and take the adoption parenting course.

The first day of the course I sat down by a gentleman and his wife. His first words were: "So, your wife is not coming?" There were five couples, two single women and me. But I was driven. I had my home study and criminal checks done before anybody else in the class.

Between that day in November 2004, when I learned I was in the running to be Trevor's parent, and the following April, I went through more home visits, security checks and interviews. I also drove up to the town in northern Ontario where Trevor was living, and met with his case worker, therapist and foster parents. Trevor's situation hadn't been a good one. He had been taken into care by Children's Aid – twice – and had become a crown ward. He had been through hell. Abandonment. Upheaval. Separation from birth parents. There would be lots of issues. Trevor also has a sister who would probably remain in care, and couldn't be adopted with him.

Page 2 of 4 -- Find out how Edward makes out in his final interview on page 3.