Teen sexuality

Birth Control

The basic information every teen needs to know before having intercourse should include birth control. Be sure your teen knows that every time a man and a woman have sex, there is the possibility that they might make a baby. Despite lines to the contrary, a girl can get pregnant the first time, during her period, using withdrawal, standing up, or while on drugs.

The 1995 Canadian Contraception Study revealed that almost all Canadian women between fifteen and forty-four knew about oral contraceptives and condoms. Why some teenagers choose not to use birth control isn't clear. Some girls may fear that discussing contraception makes them appear too easy or rather sex-crazed. Some teens just conclude that pregnancy happens to others - not to them.

Some research shows that teenagers who are accustomed to talking openly with their parents about sexual matters are not less sexually active, but they are more likely to use birth control. Supply your teen with the information she needs in case she's considering having sexual intercourse with her boyfriend. Saying "Use precautions" isn't enough. You wouldn't teach her to drive with such vague instructions, but sexual intercourse can have enormous consequences on her health and well-being.

Give her all the details she needs through discussions, pamphlets, books, as well as access to medical counselling. If you feel awkward about opening the discussion, try, "I understand that a lot of people your age get involved in sexual intercourse, so it's really important to me that you learn about protecting yourself from disease and pregnancy."

Your teen has a wide range of birth control options. But none, except abstinence from sexual intercourse, is 100 per cent effective.

• The pill The birth control method used most frequently is the pill. The pill stops ovulation and alters the pH of the vagina, making it inhospitable for sperm; it also thins the endometrium so that eggs can't implant. Most birth control pills are very effective; the failure rate of less than 1 per cent includes those women who sometimes forget to take the daily pill. The pill has several positive side effects along with some negative ones. It reduces the severity of menstrual cramps and headaches; it reduces acne and anemia. But it may cause some nausea, breast tenderness, irritability, and spotting between periods. It's also advisable for women who smoke not to use the pill.

• The condom In addition to providing birth control, the latex condom is the only protection against STDs. Girls should not be shy about asking a partner to wear one. When fitted snugly to the penis, a condom contains the male's ejaculate and prevents the sperm from entering the woman's vagina. The user and his partner must learn how to put on a condom and how to squeeze out any air bubbles to prevent pressure that might result in breakage. Condoms have an expiration date, and teens should know to check the date on the package and open it carefully to prevent tearing. They should also know that condoms can sometimes fail. An oil-based lubricant like lotion, oil, or petroleum jelly weakens a latex condom, possibly causing it to break. Using a spermicide such as nonoxynol-9 improves protection from pregnancy. Although many condoms are lubricated with nonoxynol-9, it is more effective when applied in the vagina.

• Other birth control Teens should know: that a spermicide protects against STDs while it also kills sperm; that a woman must be "fitted" for a diaphragm or cervical cap, which provides a barrier between the sperm and the uterus; that the contraceptive sponge absorbs sperm and inactivates it with a spermicide.

• Emergency contraception pill (ECP) Parents and teens should know that their family doctor can prescribe this "morning-after" pill and that it is effective not just the morning after but up to 72 hours after intercourse. Some clinics and rape crisis centres also keep it on hand. It cannot be used by women with heart disease, a blood-clotting disorder, or severe migraines.
More birth control information is available from a variety of sources. Direct your teen to her doctor, to Planned Parenthood, telephone talk lines, teen clinics, and the library. If she seems unsure or unwilling, pick up some brochures for her, and leave them in her room.

Unwanted Pregnancy
Although any sexually active teen couple can make a baby, some teen couples are at higher risk. Parents who don't discuss sex at all or who talk only about abstinence from sexual activity leave their children without important knowledge that might prevent their daughter from becoming pregnant or their son from impregnating his partner. The teens in these families may not know enough about the sexual acts their bodies want to perform and the consequences of those acts, let alone about protection. A teenage girl with little sexual knowledge is more likely to be coerced into sexual intercourse by an aggressive older partner. The statistics from a Toronto public health office show that 26 per cent of teen mothers age fifteen to seventeen and 31 per cent of teen mothers age eighteen to nineteen had partners who were twenty-five or older.

If your daughter does get pregnant, she needs your support. Accidents happen - his condom breaks, her diaphragm doesn't fit properly, or she forgets to take the birth control pill regularly. Teens are about as consistent about birth control as adults are. Two-thirds use contraceptives the first time they have sexual intercourse; more than three-quarters use contraception on an ongoing basis. Trying to assign blame won't change your daughter's situation.

Discuss the choices she has: abortion, or taking the pregnancy to term and either raising the child or giving the baby up for adoption. Help your daughter find realistic information and counselling, if she wants it, about the positives and negatives of each choice. It may be very difficult for you not to impose your own beliefs. Let her know how you feet about the choices, but ultimately it is her decision.

If your son impregnates his partner, fight the feeling of panic and concentrate on his needs. The decision about what to do about the pregnancy will be primarily his partner's, but the situation is also painful for the young man involved - although his trauma is not usually acknowledged. Avoid laying blame, and help him get the information he needs to deal with his questions and his fears. Let him know you support him, and help him get counselling, if he wishes.