Teen sexuality

Sexual Orientation

Many teens question their sexual preference during adolescence, and homosexual crushes are quite common. Some teens worry about the implications of being approached sexually by a person of the same gender. They fear this might indicate that they themselves are homosexual. Statistics show that about 18 per cent of boys and 6 per cent of girls have participated in at least one homosexual act by the age of nineteen. Your teen needs to know that questioning one's sexuality is normal during the teen years and not always an indication of his sexual orientation. Just knowing that other kids have the same questions and that about 1 in 10 people is gay or lesbian can be very reassuring to a teen.

Some teens may be reluctant to discuss sexual orientation, but if you want to maintain open communication with them, don't avoid the topic. If there's a news report about the progress being made regarding gay people's rights, you might comment, "Isn't it too bad that we can't just let people be who they are?" By conveying your own willingness to accept people as they are, you may release your teen, who's wondering about her own sexuality, to talk with you. As a parent, you should be prepared for the possibility that your child's sexual orientation may be homosexual.

If you sense that your teen is struggling with this question, give him every opportunity to discuss it with you, even if you find it difficult and painful. Many adults have strong beliefs about homosexuality, and if your child suspects that he is gay, he may be afraid to talk with you. As a result, he may suffer a profound sense of isolation and loneliness, which may even lead to suicidal behaviour. Don't let your unwillingness to talk set him up for a life of pain and secrecy. Reassure your child that he is loved, no matter what his sexual orientation. A sympathetic professional with experience in the issues of gender orientation may be able to help both of you deal with your teen's sexual preference. Contact a support group such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Check your phone book for a local chapter.