The down-to-earth guide to getting more sleep

The American Academy of Pediatrics has recently revised its advice on how to avoid SIDS. Some of their rules may contradict the suggestions in this article. Please see aap.org for the new guidelines.

Excerpted from The Parent's Problem Solver by Cathryn Tobin, M.D. (Three Rivers Press, 2002).

Jan and Steve. This charming couple, unaware that bad habits were being established, rocked Hal for forty minutes each night before he nodded off. This wasn't a problem at first, but by nine months of age, Hal was too heavy for his mom to carry. Hal knew no other way to go to sleep, and what followed was months of frustration.

Helen and Rick. Helen wasn't worried about letting nine-month-old Manny cry for a few moments, but Rick couldn't bear listening to his little one in distress. At the first sign, Rick would dash into Manny's room and pick her up. The amazing thing was, one winter when Helen and the baby were visiting her parents down south, Grandma suggested that Helen allow little Manny to fuss for a moment before intervening to see whether she would fall back to sleep on her own. Much to Helen's surprise, the first night and every one thereafter, Manny grunted and squirmed briefly before dropping right back to sleep. Which meant that all along, Rick had been waking Manny up, not the other way around.

Tanya. Being a single mother meant that there was no one to take turns with during the night. So, Tanya and little Susie shared her bed from the start. But Tanya was worried that she'd roll over, and as a result she slept only fitfully. After six months, Tanya was drained. She wasn't meeting deadlines at work, and she was short-tempered at home. Tanya felt "stuck"; she didn't want to share her bed with Susie any longer, but she couldn't stand to let her cry.

Many parents assume that a child's poor sleep habits are a stage that will eventually disappear. But in reality, old patterns of behaviour will not fade away until parents take active steps to encourage new ones. Recent research shows that preschoolers with sleep problems are more likely to have behavioral and learning problems, so I highly recommend that you deal with these problems early on.

As a working mom with young children, I have to be practical when it comes to my little ones' sleep habits, as I suspect you do, too. I want to give my kids all the love and attention they need; nonetheless, I absolutely need uninterrupted sleep. What I have come to see is that these priorities are not mutually exclusive. The following guidelines will help you get your baby's sleep on track in a manner that respects her need for comfort and meets your need for more sleep.

The younger the baby, the easier it is to teach her how to fall asleep independently. I suggest that you begin to work on sleep habits once your baby is gaining nicely and well established in her feeding routine. Generally speaking, you should begin by two months of age.

Sooner, not later. It is easier to put a baby or child to bed before he's totally exhausted, because it's easier for him to deal with the stress of separation while he still has some reserve. If you start the bedtime routine at the first sign of tiredness, he'll doze off with less fussing.

Day/night reversal. Many babies sleep for long periods during the day and are completely awake at bedtime. But recent research suggests that babies can learn the difference between day and night early on if they're given the proper signals. You can do this by exaggerating the difference: In the daytime, talk to your baby while you feed her, stroke her, play energetic music, keep her bedroom bright and colorful, and change activities as often as needed. At nighttime, darken the room, whisper, don't stroke her during feedings, skip diaper changes if at all possible, then gently pop her back into bed.

Create rituals. Babies thrive on routine. Anything a parent can do to make the child's world more predictable will help him gain a sense of control over events in his life. Try different routines until you find one that allows your baby to wind down. This may mean a massage, a bath, story time, or feeding. TIP: Don't let your baby fall asleep during the bedtime ritual.