What one mother learned from her teenage daughter's pregnancy

Cara moved in with us after Sancia's birth. I taught her how to change diapers, breast-feed, make baby food and sing lullabies. I showed her how to swaddle Sancia, and read her nursery rhymes. I can still remember watching my baby cradle her own daughter and sing soft lullabies to her for hours at a time. I am so proud of Cara's dedication to Sancia. She's turned her life around and dedicated herself to being a great mother, making sure Sancia is happy and well cared for. Sancia means "serene," and that's what Cara began to feel when she was pregnant. Sancia was simply meant to be.

Strengthening the mother-daughter bond
Cara and I became very close during the eight months that she lived with us after Sancia was born. Like me, during those chaotic years she had been asking herself, What went wrong? Cara says she entered her teens swimming in an ugly brew of depression mixed with anger, and the antidepressants she was put on for her bipolar disorder made her feel suicidal. She told me, "Mom, there were many, many times that I wanted to rip my hair out and tear out my skin." She also shared some of the things that went on when she was living with her boyfriend, including the abuse. Sancia's biological father spent some time in jail for abusing Cara. After she had taken out a second restraining order against him, he stopped harassing her. She went back on her bipolar medication. She still has mood swings, but has learned to recognize them and talk to me. I am proud of how she navigates the ups and downs. Cara now lives in a small apartment with her fiancé, Joey, whom she met while working at a homeless shelter during a co-op placement for a high school course. A mutual friend working at the shelter introduced them. Joey is now a prep cook at a popular Ottawa restaurant and, in every way he can be, he is Sancia's daddy.

Reg and I look after Sancia every weekend until Sunday night. It's our private time with her. In the mornings, Sancia and I sit in a big rocking chair, cuddled up together in a blanket, and watch TV. In the afternoons, we pick flowers and go for long walks. We also make puppets and play pretend. One of the things I love most is curling up with my granddaughter when she asks, "Nana, will you read me a bedtime story?" Every Sunday night we all regroup as one big family for dinner. We never miss one.

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