When can I go to the store by myself?

Kids are always eager to take the next step to independence. "When can I go to the store by myself?" soon becomes "When can I go to the mall by myself?" All your parenting skills are directed toward helping children become independent and confident Individuals. But starting down that road to independence can be nerve-wracking for parents. How do you decide when your child is ready for the next small step?

Age is one consideration. A six-year-old isn't ready to spend any time alone, because he's not capable of making complex decisions in the event of an emergency. He also isn't mature enough and still lacks the peripheral vision to cross the street alone safely. Not all older children develop a good sense of responsibility, so ask yourself If your child is ready for the task at hand. If his friends are involved, consider the maturity of the other kids. What will the group dynamics be? Will your child be more responsible or less responsible when he's with his friends?

At the same time, look honestly at your own anxieties. Don't let your dark imaginings of what could go wrong hold your child back from more independent actions. Try to judge the potential risks of a situation objectively. Make your decision based on your child's level of maturity, not your level of anxiety.

Before you let your child go out into the wide world alone, make sure to review the basics of streetproofing. Get him to think about the kinds of real situations he might face. Ask him, for example, what he would do if a stranger offered him a ride or if he ran into someone he didn't like.

Try a dry run before you let your child go on short outings without you. Suggest she go with a friend to provide support. Let them walk or bike ahead of you while you keep an eye on things from a distance. Watch how she conducts herself and tell her how she did when you both get back home. Here are a few pointers for typical outings that your child may want to try.

Sleeping over
Sleeping overnight at a friend's house is a fun way for kids to build social skills and begin learning about independence. Most kids are ready by about the age of six, or younger if they're staying with a relative they know well. Your child should also be emotionally ready. Ask yourself if he has the self-confidence to last the night away from home. If he usually sleeps with a stuffed toy, you can boost his confidence by letting him know it's OK to take it with him. If your child is still not dry at night, let the other parents know and pack the appropriate supplies. Make sure he knows he can call you if he really needs to come home.

Going to school
Most kids will be ready to go to school without you by about age eight or nine, but consider the distance, the traffic, and the neighbourbood. It should be only a few blocks in a safe neighbourbood without any streets with busy traffic to cross. You might want to work up slowly to letting them go alone. Ensure they travel with a responsible friend or an older sibling.

A trip to the store
Kids enjoy the thrill of spending their own money on the treats and novelties that are an important part of childhood. Make sure they have basic money skills. Do they understand how to make change? Do they know enough to keep their money in their pocket until they need it and put it back when they're finished? Once they've mastered that, then accompany them part of the way, and wait for them while they go the rest of the way to the store. When you're sure they're fine, then let them go from home to store and back without you. Be sure they know they have to check in with you as soon as they're home.