When your child is abducted: One woman's nightmare

Getting things together
Jennifer stayed with her parents for nine months before feeling safe enough to move out on her own. For a time, Ian turned into a child who always hid behind his mother’s skirts. When she signed him up for a preschool program, he ran out of the room screaming after her. He would become distraught if she left him with a sitter.

Jennifer found it impossible to work and lived on social assistance. It wasn’t until he was four that Ian would feel comfortable with his peers once again and could bear to see his mom walk out the door. Jennifer got a part-time job as a curator and art show coordinator at a local cultural centre.

Mother and son have made great strides in the four years since the abduction, although sleeping troubles plague Jennifer to this day. With government funding, she launched EcoWorks, an environmentally friendly home-cleaning business. Two years ago, Jennifer met her boyfriend, Simon, a man who has become a father figure to Ian.

Almost back to normal
Now in Grade 2, Ian is a fun-loving, rambunctious kid who is learning to read and write and has a passion for swimming and soccer. But there are still times when he holds on to Jennifer’s hand tightly, hugs her and says, “Please don’t go.”

Many days at school he has a parting ritual that involves taking the teacher’s hand at the exact moment he lets go of his mother’s. He waves at Jennifer until she disappears from sight, then happily joins in with his classmates.

For a long time, Jennifer lived in fear that one of Ed’s family members would come to Canada and try to find her. Then Ed started sending Ian Christmas and birthday presents at her parents’ home. Ed e-mails Jennifer every few months now, and, although these missives used to be angry and threatening, over the years they have become calm and considerate. He asks about Ian and begs to have some contact. Jennifer remains cautious.

“Part of me never wants Ian to see his father again, but I have to consider Ian’s feelings as a boy who may one day need to have an understanding of his father. When he grows into a man, I wonder if it’s something I may have to allow.”

If what she lived through has taught Jennifer anything, it’s that any woman is susceptible to abuse.

“I’m an assertive, independent person, but I ended up in a relationship I shouldn’t have stayed in. Like a lot of women, I stayed because I thought I could make it better. But you just can’t.”

*Name has been changed.

Page 5 of 6