How to support your partner when she's pregnant

Being there for her during the labour
Take a deep breath. If you can stay calm, it will help her stay calm.

Do your best to stick to the birth plan. Early on, a big part of this will be reminding her that there's a break between each contraction. Trust her intuition about when it's time to go to the hospital. You may be the one with the stopwatch, but she'll be the best one to determine when her contractions are strong enough and close enough together to be close to giving birth.

At the hospital, give your birth plan to the staff and set up the environment so that your spouse feels comfortable. Bring music to relax her and massage oils to keep her loose. Dimming the lights can help create a soothing atmosphere. And do some deep breathing yourself -- she'll need you to be collected and calm.

Once the baby comes
You may both be overwhelmed by stress and loss of sleep in the days and weeks immediately following your baby's birth. This is normal, and it'll be healthy for both of you to remember that. The exhaustion and anxiety will ease over time. Meanwhile, be patient and kind to your spouse and remind her to be patient and kind to you.

A new mother will be healing physically and emotionally as her hormones surge and drop. Give her space and time to heal. Offer to watch the baby while she takes baths, gets massages, or takes time for herself. Or enjoy the fresh air together as a family with the baby in a stroller or sling.

You also will serve your family and friends well by coordinating the help people offer to give and limiting the number of social visits in the early weeks. If people ask, tell them exactly what you'd like or what you need -- nutritious meals dropped off, laundry taken out of the house and returned folded and clean.

You may feel pressure from outside your home -- from work or other commitments -- but keep your priorities straight: Your baby and family must come first in the early days. Everybody will feel much more settled much sooner if you all can establish and stick to a routine.

Last, remember that the day your baby arrives is the beginning of a new chapter in life. Work together as a family to create the healthiest environment you can for all of you to learn and grow. You are embarking on a new journey together. It is beautiful, but it can also be chaotic at first. Collect yourself when you're feeling stressed -- perhaps through exercise, if you can get away. With your love, support, and energy, your family will build a healthy home.

Read more: 10 tips for a natural birth

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Excerpted from Organic Baby: Simple Steps for Healthy Living by Kimberly Rider. Copyright 2007 by Kimberly Rider. Excerpted with permission from Chronicle Books. All right reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced without permission in writing from the publisher.