Planning your baby's birth

Planning for postpartum help
For first-time mothers, it's really important to plan for help in the first few weeks at home, because many Canadian hospitals discharge mothers and their babies twenty-four hours after the birth. Especially if you're planning to nurse, you'll need the help of a knowledgeable mom with experience, since your major focus will be on learning how to breast-feed. Your helper could be your own mother, your mother-in-law, your sister, or a friend. Even if no one is able to stay with you, or if you and your partner prefer not to have company, identify other mothers who will visit you or answer your questions on the phone.

Find out from your hospital what postnatal services it provides, and ask for the phone numbers of professional help on which to call if you run into any feeding problems. Check with your local public health unit to see if a public health nurse (PHN) could provide postnatal visits. The Victorian Order of Nurses will also make both pre- and post-natal visits to your home to help you resolve baby-care concerns and arrange for light housekeeping and laundry services through a home support program. Midwives and doulas also include home visits in their services.

Managing your activities postpartum
You and your partner will both feel somewhat confused after the excitement and hard work of birthing. You will need time to focus on the baby, not on laundry and vacuuming. If you deliver by cesarean section, you shouldn't do any lifting for some time, so it's likely you'll need help. If you can afford home help, have them come during the first weeks to do the housework, leaving you free to tend your baby.

Family members may offer to help, but consider the quality of your relationship with them before you accept. Some couples welcome a mother or mother-in-law, or both sets of parents, moving in for a week or more. Grandparents can provide a wealth of wisdom and support for a new family, but this is a highly emotional and sensitive time for you and your partner so you need to choose your helpers wisely. If you're secure enough with your folks and able to assert your feelings calmly, then this time however can be very special for all of you. It could also be the beginning of a close relationship between your baby and her new grandparents.

Understand what you need
When people ask what you need, don't be too shy to tell them. Gifts of oven-ready casseroles or a dinner ready for the table are timesavers; so is an offer to take an older sibling out for the afternoon. Most guests are thoughtful and sensitive to the parents' needs, but don't bother to stifle your yawns if your visitors forget that their presence might tire you or make more work for you when what you really need is a nap.