Dangerous experimentation

Trouble with the law
Few things can make your heart sink faster than seeing a police officer bring your teen to your door. About 5 per cent of all youths age twelve to seventeen came in contact with the police for violations of the Criminal Code in 1996. More than half of the young offenders were charged with property offences, particularly shoplifting. They stole the same sorts of items most teens pay for -- CDs, clothes, makeup, jewellery, and candies.

There are many reasons that teens break the law. Often they act on impulse, sometimes as a form of rebellion or bravado to show off for friends. In some cases, teen lawbreaking may be a sign of other troubles. The teenager may have an unhappy home life, may be dealing with the death of someone close or the breakup of the family through divorce, or with any combination of stresses or problems.

The most effective way to help your kids avoid trouble with the law is to practise the same kinds of parenting skills that are effective in so many areas of their lives.
• Keep open communication with your kids, and be ready to really listen to and discuss their problems.
• Get involved in their school. Teachers are often the first to spot problems in the making.
• Make sure you know your son's friends, and make your home a welcoming place for them to gather so that you'll have a better idea of what they're up to.
• Give your kids appropriate supervision.
• Make it a house rule that they let you know where they're going and call if they're going to be late or if plans change.
• Help your daughter develop skills in her areas of interest, from sports to hobbies. A child who experiences success and feels competent is less likely to get into trouble of any kind.

Warning signs
Some of the signs that your daughter may be on a collision course with the law are not unlike the signs for drug problems: sudden loss of interest in activities she used to enjoy, a withdrawal from family life, faltering grades, and increasing absences from school. She may also suddenly have stereos, clothes, and cash that can't be accounted for.

More than 80 per cent of youth crimes are minor, and one brush with the law is enough reason for most teens not to get into trouble again. If your teen does break the law and is charged, be supportive throughout the subsequent legalities. But it's a more significant learning experience if you ensure that your teen deals with the consequences by, for example, fulfilling a community service order as part of a sentence or paying you back for any fine or legal fees connected with the charge. But if you're worried that the crime was a symptom of much larger problems in your teen's life, seek professional help.

Excerpted from Understanding Your Teen: Ages 13 to 19 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1999 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.