Fostering talents

More personal freedom, better purchasing power, and a stronger ability to focus mean that teens can pursue their hobbies, interests, and extracurricular activities with vigour. Some teens build on interests they developed as children, but many teens jump on new hobbies and activities. Whatever they choose, they gain a deep sense of self-worth and expand their knowledge base with leisure pursuits that they choose for themselves.

Be your teen's Number 1 fan
Parents may believe that their young teens neither want nor require their support and encouragement as they pursue new hobbies. But, in fact, parental support is still necessary and important. Even when he seems to suffer acute embarrassment just walking down the street with you, you are still the most important adult in your teenager's life. Although your teen may not articulate it, she still wants you as a cheerleader on the sidelines.

Your encouragement may only take the form of driving him to and from band practice without griping, attending his concerts with wild applause, or a private "I'm so proud of the way you've been practising that difficult piece, and it's really paying off -- you're sounding great!" Encouragement can also be a resolute affirmation of a child's potential when she develops cold feet at the doorstep of the dance studio on the first day of class. But try not to step over the line into coercion. It will create resentment and possibly a lifelong aversion to the activity. You should share your expectations about your investment in and your teen's commitment to particular activities, but activities should enrich a child's life, not become a resented chore. Both parents and teens should feel free to change situations that turn out to be less than expected.

You have to do something!
You might be faced with the worrisome prospect of a youngster devoting, fewer hours to once-enjoyed activities and more time just hanging out with friends. While you may view this as little more than a time-waster, refrain from comment. A teen who previously filled several evenings a week with different activities sometimes hits an age when she decides to drop everything. Don't push, but let her know that she can try something new when she's ready.

Teens need to see the good example of their parents choosing to spend time in active physical pursuits as well as quieter leisure interest like gardening or reading. Teens need exposure to a wide range of interests in order to find ones they like. Community associations and family clubs like the Y offer a variety of activities for all age groups. Their fee structure may vary, but teen rates are often about half the adult rate. Most municipal recreation programs are even cheaper. If cost is an issue, such community service groups as the Lions Club, Rotary International, and the Kinsmen might be willing to help fund youth activities under certain circumstances. Contact the secretary of your local club for information about funding procedures.