How to monitor your teen's progress in school

What do low marks signify?
Marks typically take a nosedive when a young person changes schools, and the change to high school also occurs for most students during puberty. Just as your teens are coping with a changing body, possibly with attendant mood swings or new sexual thoughts and feelings, they face a more challenging curriculum and the new experience of being low man on the social totem pole in a much wider society. Within the first year or two, most students adapt and their marks return to what's normal for them.

But it's important to be able to read your own child. The poor marks your teen receives, whether on assignments, tests, or end-of-semester report cards, might signal any number of other issues. Do they signify academic problems, a psychological problem like depression, societal pressures to conform to preconceived notions of what a girl should do or want, or peer pressures to reject parental values or participate in drug use? Of course, the quality of the school, your family life, your teen's personal motivation, her friendships, and her intellectual ability all play a role in her school success. A teen whose parents are divorcing, or one who is the target of a bully, or one who has broken up with her boyfriend may not be able to focus in class and may get lower marks than usual. If the personal situation is temporary, time and the academic boost that comes from working smarter, not harder, will help restore the student to his or her previous level of achievement.

A teen who continues to struggle with particular subjects in school, even though he appears to be working hard at them, may already be living up to his academic potential. Some people don't have the intellectual or memory skills needed to handle successfully the courses necessary for admission to college or university. But if you're unsure whether it's your teen's performance or potential that's in question, suggest that he take aptitude tests.

Most high-school guidance departments can offer the kind of aptitude tests and interest inventories that help a student learn about himself. If not, you might contact a psychologist and inquire about the tests available and the related fees. Check your health-care plan to see if a psychologist's fees and aptitude tests are covered. Most people like to see an objective analysis of their capabilities and interests, and students may be relieved to find that the test reveals what they already knew -- for example, that they learn best from hands-on experience and don't learn easily from reading and writing. Such an official analysis might end months of miserable conflict between parent and child about their academic achievement. Parents should not impose the goal of a university degree if their child gives no immediate evidence of interest in or ability to pursue that goal.

You can both consider other options for his future and be prepared to accept that your teen may not be best served by what the school system has to offer at this time. Be aware of your teen's strengths and his interests. Set an achievement target that your teen supports. If he's getting 50s and you want 80s, compromise and set a target for the mid-60s as a first step. The worst thing a parent can do is to assume the child is lazy or unmotivated, warns psychologist Harvey Mandel, author of Could Do Better: Why Children Underachieve and What to Do about It (HarperCollins, 1995), a step-by-step guide to helping parents help their kids who are underachieving. "Too many parents make the assumption that, if my child fails now, his life is over. Parents need to know that teens can survive most of the difficulties they will ever encounter... Don't give up hope."