Talking to your teen

Stress management
As a parent, you can't eliminate stress from your teen's life, but you can help him learn to cope effectively. Acknowledge to your teen that the pressures he feels are real. Learn how to monitor his behaviour under stress, and keep the lines of communication open. Show an interest in your teen's world without being judgmental. Most teens already feel they're being judged by peers and teachers and society at large. Helping him feel good about himself provides a strong antidote to stress.

Develop your role as a consultant to let him know that you're an ally, not an enemy. A good consultant listens well, offers considered opinions, but lets the teen make up his own mind. Teach him that it's OK to make mistakes and sometimes fail-that's how he learns and gains experience to solve future problems. If failure occurs despite your advice, don't say "I told you so." Despite all their bravado and rebellion, teens need their parents' support when the chips are down.

Stress management involves knowing what to do to alleviate stress. Energy-demanding sports, music, journal writing, and private time are some outlets that help teens reduce stress. Talking with sympathetic and supportive friends, siblings, teachers, and parents also helps. Parents can help teens manage stress by subtly suggesting certain techniques and modelling good stress management themselves.