Teenage milestones

The high cost of driving
Before your teen is old enough for a learner's permit, be sure he is aware of the additional costs for the family and for his own driving. If your teen will use the car regularly, especially for a part-time job, work out an agreement about who pays and how much for gas and oil, car washes and maintenance. You might establish a fair contribution toward the insurance since the family's insurance rates usually increase when a teenager is added as a driver. Tickets for speeding or other moving violations also increase the cost of insurance, and an accident boosts rates even higher or may disqualify the driver from future coverage.

Drinking and driving
It's ostrich-like to avoid the subject of drinking and driving just because your family guideline is that your children can't drink alcohol until they reach the legal age. Consider the following from the Addiction Research Foundation's Ontario Student Drug Use Survey. Your child might be one of these students.

Grade/ Per cent of students drinking alcohol
grade 7: 31.9 per cent
grade 9: 55.3 per cent
grade 11: 80.6 per cent

Drinking and driving is so dangerous that you must discuss it explicitly with your teens and agree upon specific rules. Your teen must never drive when he or she has been drinking. That doesn't mean only when they feel drunk. The rule is simple: If they've had a drink, they must not drive. Nor should they get in a friend's car if that friend has been drinking. This is the standard for their safety.

Discuss with your teen in detail the alternative ways he can get home if he has been drinking. You may want to make this in the form of a contract that you discuss together. Your teen can take public transit, call a cab, or get a ride with someone who hasn't been drinking. Assure him that he can also call you, that you'll take a cab to meet him, then drive him home in the family car, or, if you have a second car, that you'll pick him up that night and retrieve the other car the next day.

If your daughter can't reach you by phone or chooses to take a cab, have a plan for where she can find cash or use a card to pay for the cab. Reassure your teen that her safety is the most important thing in the world to you, that she can call you for a ride at any hour, and you'll come get her.

Set the same example yourself. Don't ever drink and drive. Let your children hear you discussing who will be the designated driver if you're going to an event at which alcohol will be served. Let your licensed teen be your designated driver after you've all been at a family function where the adults have had alcoholic drinks.