Coping with a toddler's behaviour

Typical toddler behaviours
Here are some typical toddler behaviours, with tips on how you might respond.

Running away from you. He catches your eye, gives you that achingly cute smile, then suddenly turns and tears off across the room. After a few steps, he turns again and comes back to you, giggling. Then he darts off once more. This is a game toddlers love to play. Running off is one way they practise being separated from their parents. But they don't want to be too separate, so they come back. This is a wonderful game to play with your toddler in a safe place, but it can be very dangerous if he tries it in places that are not so safe.

• Play the game often at home to give him lots of opportunities to practise and enjoy his separateness.

• Let him know where he is not allowed to play the running-away game, but don't count on his remembering

• In areas or at times that you judge to be unsafe, always carry him or hold on to him.

• Some parents use a harness on children who love to run. If you're comfortable with the concept, get one that fits over your toddler's chest, but still allows him freedom to move within your reach.

Temper tantrums. He throws himself on the floor, kicks his heels in the air as if riding a bicycle, and screams at the top of his lungs. Or he holds his breath until his face turns blue. The sheer force of his anger can stun you. Remember, however, that he's not behaving this way as a personal attack on you or in reaction to your request that he not poke the cat. Tantrums are a natural part of toddlerhood, and sometimes the only expression of a child's frustration -- a feeling he can't express any other way.

• When your child erupts in a tantrum, you must remain calm and allow the tantrum to wind itself down. He needs to know that you're in control when he's feeling so completely out of control.

• Don't try to reason with him, but talk to him calmly and, once he begins to settle down, try to distract him. "I know you're upset that we can't find your teddy. We'll find it soon. Let's see if it's in your bed. Maybe your doll is in your bed."

• If your child has several tantrums in a day, look at his sleep schedule to make sure he's getting enough rest.

• Offer meals and snacks before he becomes cranky with hunger.

• Try to eliminate unnecessary frustrations-for instance, put latches on the doors of rooms he shouldn't enter.

• Without being rigid, keep up a regular routine with him every day.

Refusing to share possessions. Before two-and-a-half, your toddler is too young to understand sharing. Don't force him to share, and don't shame him if he won't. If he's the aggressor and grabs another child's toy, quietly tell your child No! and give the toy back. If the two children can't play without interfering with each other, then it's time to pack up and move on.

Playing with genitals. It may make you uncomfortable that the minute you take off his diaper, his hand dives between his legs. But it's a very common action at this age, and the best thing to do is to ignore it. As he gets older and better understands what you say, you might place limits on this behaviour and let him know that playing with his genitals is not something to do in public.