Dealing with sibling rivalry

I never noticed before that our daughter Brooklynn, who is three years old, wanted so much attention, because she was the only child. But when Mia was born, it became clear that Brooklynn thought she had the run of the house. And she did. She wasn't used to the word no and that was our fault. I know that.

With Brooklynn, we never followed a set routine. Instead we fit her into our routine. If we wanted to watch a show at night and she wanted to stay up, she could. And she still sleeps in our bed. Now I think I should have put her in her own room before the baby came. But at the same time, I like having her in bed with us. I like that we're all together.

About two months after Mia arrived, Brooklynn started having meltdowns -- screaming, hitting, kicking and yelling -- if she didn't get what she wanted. I couldn't believe it. She's a really wonderful girl.

Often it happened at bedtime. I had a very bad day a while back when she did it twice to me -- once at Costco and once at Loblaws. But before that she had waited with me at the doctor's office for an hour and was as good as gold. She's such a good girl. It was hard to believe she could have these fits.

She also had a pretty busy agenda, which was another problem. She was taking ballet, gymnastics and swimming and going to Montessori school. I put her into lots of activities because I felt guilty about Mia taking time away from Brooklynn and thought she had to have lots to do to keep her busy. But it was too much for her and for me. We were constantly rushing.

I was busy and felt guilty. I knew that when I lost my temper or didn't know how to deal with her, it was because I was tired or I hadn't eaten.

I was emotional. Then one time I smacked her on the bottom and it really upset me. I was turning into a mother I didn't want to be.