The situation: After a few years of sleeping in her own bed, our four-year-old is now crawling into bed with us – every night. It was suggested we lock our door, but we don't feel right about that.
The solution: Have a calm bedtime routine before saying good night. Encourage her to keep a blanket or stuffed animal, as they comfort children. Before you leave the room, offer your daughter one last wish, such as a trip to the bathroom.
Next, put a mattress outside your child's room and sleep there for a few nights until you've nipped the problem in the bud. The moment you hear her get up, use your no-kidding-around voice to tell her, "Back to bed, it's bedtime." Don't offer more tuck-ins or kisses; that encourages her to keep getting up. She will feel comforted knowing you are nearby; this will help her stay in bed.
During the day, try to tease out why your daughter is coming into your room and discuss the reasons. Give her some coping strategies for what to do. For instance, be very specific and say, "When you wake up, hug your teddy and think about..." Let your child know you believe she's strong and capable.
Cathryn Tobin is a pediatrician and author of The Lull-a-Baby Sleep Plan and The Parent's Problem Solver.
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