Mom's stress guide: toddlers and preschoolers

Know that you have what it takes to do a good job of mothering your toddler or preschooler. Sure the skill set may be radically different than what you used in caring for your baby -- you'll break new ground when it comes to patience and you'll surprise yourself by coming up with 1,000 different answers to the question "Why?" "It's all about listening to the cues and going with your intuition," insists the Association for Research on Mothering's Andrea O'Reilly.

Refuse to turn mothering into a competition. "Some mothers care very much about things like whose child walks first, talks first, gives up diapers first, pumps highest on the swing, or is the first to be able to count," says Peskowitz. "Unfortunately, all of the normal developmental milestones of childhood have become stress points for mothers in our increasingly competitive society." O'Reilly agrees: "Mothering is the most competitive sport on the block."

Realize that every stage of mothering is a limited time offer. "The stage you love will end-and the stage that you fear will last forever will stop abruptly," adds Andrea J. Buchanan, author of Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It (Seal Press, 2003). "Change is inevitable, and having 'this too shall pass' as your mantra is your safest bet."

See the other articles in this collection:
•Mom's Stress Guide: Pregnancy and birth
•Mom's Stress Guide: Babies
•Mom's Stress Guide: School-aged children

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. She can be contacted via her website at having-a-baby.com.