Taking care of a preschooler

Learning to use the toilet
Now is the time to put away those daytime diapers. Diapers and disposable training pants keep the child feeling dry so it's more difficult for him to relate his bodily functions to the wet result. During the day, put your child in cotton underwear. Let him know that it's OK if he has an accident and that there are fresh clothes that he can put on. Show him where to find clean underwear, pants, and socks. Avoid training pants because they can be difficult to pull on and off.

By this age, most children stay dry during the day, but still have problems making it through the night, even at the age of four. Let him wear diapers or disposable training pants at night until he's dry most nights.

When your child won't use the toilet
Try to view the toilet from your child's perspective. First, he has to climb up on this huge hole into which he then lowers a very vulnerable part of his body; when he's finished his business, he has to push a lever which causes a loud, sucking noise, and whatever was in the toilet completely disappears! Children may fear being flushed down the toilet or having a monster sneak up through the toilet and grab them. They also may feel sad at letting something of themselves get flushed away. To a child, feces or urine may not be unpleasant; they are something he produced, something that was a part of him; giving them up isn't always easy.

When a child is struggling to stay in control, she may refuse to have a bowel movement. This retention of feces will cause her considerable discomfort and even infection if extended to the extreme. Sometimes, explaining the bodily needs of nutrition and elimination, of how her body uses food and eliminates what it doesn't need in poo and pee, can help a child understand why she should excrete urine and feces.

Public washroom dilemma
Even when your child uses the toilet at home, she may not be willing to use a public toilet. The unfamiliarity of a public washroom can be frightening. The toilets themselves are big and they make loud echoing noises when they're flushed. One three-year-old frustrated his parents by wanting to stuff a public toilet with toilet paper each time he used one. After some questioning, he explained that the toilet paper would block out the monsters. With his parents' explanation of how toilets work and with some reassurance, he gradually accepted that there couldn't be any monsters living in the toilets.

Hygiene
• Teach your child, especially a daughter, how to use toilet paper appropriately and to wipe her bottom from front to back.
• Model appropriate hand-washing after wiping oneself and flushing the toilet. Assist the child in handwashing, if necessary.
• Keep up the daily bathtime -- most active children need a thorough clean-up at least once a day.
• Make a bedtime story part of the nighttime routine. The promise of a story after the bath will get the most reluctant bather into the water, and the most committed water-baby out.