Taking good care of a toddler

Basic care
For the parent with endless time and patience, a toddler's firm resolve to do things for himself is a source of delight and pride. It's a little less charming to the beleaguered parent who is trying to catch a bus, to get to work by nine, or to make dinner for other family members. During this age, everything from feeding to dressing to bathing to sleeping becomes a potential battleground. For parents, the rule is: don't engage.

As much as possible, let your child have the time he needs to try things for himself; be there to assist, but not to control. Turn routine tasks into games or invite your child's help. Play Peekaboo while dressing, or ask him if he can find the red shirt in his drawer. When time starts to run out, give gentle warnings that soon you're going to have to take over. Respect the fact that your toddler is beginning to take charge of his own little body.

Learning to sse the toilet
What parent isn't keen for a toddler to start using a potty and eventually the toilet? It's a welcome relief to eliminate the work, the mess, and the expense of diapers. But you can't rush a child who isn't ready. So how do you know when he's ready?

Soon after your baby turns a year old, he might become aware that the wet feeling in his diapers or the puddle on the floor is coming from him, although he has no control yet over his bladder or his bowel movements. In a few months he may be able to tell you when he feels the sensation, but I have to go often means I'm going. There's no time to rush over to the potty or toilet, let alone get his pants down.

But by the age of two or two-and-a-half, he has the necessary physical control and the communication skill to tell you when he needs to use the potty. Rushing a child before he's ready only ends up frustrating both you and him. Take it slow take it easy. Encouragement is important. Tell him, "Good job," even if he misses after giving it a try. Don't punish, shame, or blame a child for mistakes. Accidents are common until about five years of age.

The key to success is to stay calm. If your child won't use the toilet or shows signs of worry, postpone the learning process. If your child spends part of the day with another adult, make sure you discuss how your child is learning to use the toilet. Have other caregivers use the same words and follow the same routines.