Being Scottish in a foreign land has its problems -- no deep-fried Mars bars or black puddin' 'n' chips. Culinary shortcomings aside, the biggest problem is that around January 25th, when all good Scots celebrate the birth of the legendary poet and author of Auld Lang Syne, Robert Burns, the price for a bag piper goes through the roof! Fortunately, most displaced Scots quickly discover that if you fudge the date a little, you can save bundles. We call it our own wee Robbie Burns day and it's inevitably after January 25.

Regardless of the date, Robbie Burns is a great reason to gather friends and sample some of Scotland's finest national export. To make the experience more interactive and easier on the pocketbook, ask your friends to bring a bottle -- we've pulled together everything you need to know about selecting a good range of samples.

Scotch is classed as either a single-malt or a blend. Blends are combinations of single malts that producers use to tune the characteristics of the scotch and create a signature balance. Blends are generally perceived to be inferior in quality to single malts, however this reputation is due more to their lower cost than lower quality. In fact, if you have a friend with a few-hundred quid to burn we'd suggest picking up a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue -- perhaps one of the most decadent whiskies available.

Johnnie Walker Blue Label, John Walker & Sons Ltd, Scotland, $229.95
Butter, caramel, pure luxury. Derived from the most exclusive single malts.

Much like old world wine, scotch is also defined by the region where it's produced. A regional approach means that different scotches derived from the same general area have similar characteristics. This is good to remember, especially when you find a particularly enjoyable whisky.

The two main regions are Lowland and Highland, and each can be sub-divided again.
Lowland scotches are usually light in color with fruity aromas and have a smooth, buttery quality. These tend to be easy dinking and are a good place for the novice to start.

Lowland scotches to try

The Original Oldbury Sheep Dip Scotch Whisky, Spencerfield Spirit Co., Scotland, $ 34.95
Easy drinking blend, charming name, enchanting price. Golden colour and smooth, with notes of caramel apple.

Glenkinchie 10 Yr Lowland, United Distillers Group London Ltd, Scotland, $ 65.70
Bright gold colour; malt, spice and dried fruit aromas.

The Highland region is the largest scotch producer and is known for its 'peaty' scotch -- a flavour produced by burning peat moss during the malted barley drying process. For aficionados, peat is a sought-after quality, while most new whisky drinkers find the unmistakable flavour intense and surprising.

Highland scotches to try

Lagavulin 16 Yr, White Horse Distillers Ltd, Islay Scotland $93.30
Deep amber, with a very strong peat component, smokiness and undertones of iodine. Not for the fainthearted.

Speyside and Island are two sub-regions within Highland. Speyside is located near the river Spey and produces clean-tasting whiskies with subtle, honey-like notes. North American whisky drinkers find Speyside malts the most familiar.

The Balvenie 12 Yr Doublewood, Wm. Grant & Sons Ltd, Speyside Scotland, $57.95
Golden coloured, smoky nose with hints of sweet sherry, citrus rind and spice.

Island region comprises the islands surrounding Scotland's northern tip and east coast. Typically these malts are full-bodied and heavily peaty. Approach with caution. It takes an acquired taste to realize their underlying subtleties. Island scotch cover a collection of islands so each region can again be sub-categorized: The Orkneys, Isle of Skye, Mull, Jura and Islay -- yours to discover.

Highland Park 18 Years Old Orkney Island Single Malt, The Macallan-Glenlivet Distillery, Orkney Scotland, $117.95
Straw-coloured, peaty with a touch of smokiness, more delicate than most Island whiskies -- from the most northern distillery in the world.

Talisker 18 Yr Old, United Distillers Group London Ltd, Isle of Skye, Scotland, $94.30
Amber gold colour, with a good puff of smoke, tar and peat. Spicy and rich on the palate.

While individual preference is the ultimate decider, scotch is generally severed neat or on occasion with a small splash of water. A good rule of thumb is to serve lighter scotches (Lowlands and light-Speysides) before a meal and more intense scotches (Highland/Islays) after a meal, perhaps with an excellent cigar. You now have your basic scotch footing, so circle a date, invite your friends over, hire an out-of-work piper and enjoy this newfound wisdom.