am I overprotective-daughter wants to move out

[brenof 2]

Just me again. Okay, so now my sixteen year old daughter thinks she is going to move out. She of course if being completely unreasonable. The cost of living along with trying to go to school and support herself when she wants to go to college/university. She is mad because we want to know too much information all the time. She feels we need to know , quote "all her business which is none of our business". I feel her business is our business at this time of her life. I don't stalk her, I don't listen in on phone conversation, or read her email or text messages. I don't read anything she puts on facebook. I don't sneak around in her room when she's not home. I allow her plenty of freedom. But, when she wants to go to someone's house, I like to know who they are and who will be there. Perhaps what they might want to do. I have let her go to parties, where there is drinking and trusted her at them to look after herself. I have taken her there and picked her up. Lately she has wanted to go to a party with a drive from someone else. No one particular, anyone she could get a ride with. That usually meant a boy, age 18 or 19. That is where I am not comfortable. Just the other night, she was arranging this and I told her I wasn't comfortable with her travelling with this particular 19 year old guy she knew. I don't. I do trust her judgement with people, but I am also concerned about her vulnerability as a girl and guys expectations. I find at this point in her life there is a big difference in those ages. She asked me, "what difference does a couple of years make" and I replied"there is a big difference is maturity in the teenage years of a couple of years". She thinks she is mature but I pointed out that the idea of moving out and running away from what she doesn't like is not mature. She thinks life here in our home is misery. It is sad she feels that way. I'm not perfect, because if I was I wouldn't be venting in this forum but I would have my own show like Dr. Phil. (not that he is perfect either). I do know though that she could have a much worse home some where else. It is only our concern for her and trying to do the right thing by her that we want to ask the questions we ask. I feel very exhausted right now as this has been a heavy dispute between us this afternoon. I understand from other peoples opinions that I need to trust her and try to loosen the reins but I don't think I am strangling her either. Although she must feel that way obviously. I think she is being too difficult. She is not understanding my rights as a parent. Am I wrong?

[princess punkin]

Me and your daughter sound a lot alike. When I was her age I did alot of the things you are talking about. I was a little difficult and wanted to move out when I was 16/17. In my eyes my parents were being difficult.

At that age you think that you can do anything and nothing bad will happen to you. Sometimes it works out for people sometimes it doesn't.

The age difference isn't that huge. They say to find someone compatible they will probably be 6 yrs older then you for the same maturity level.
Edit: I forgot to add. My best friend is 10 yrs older then me and he's just about at the same maturity level.

Explain to your daughter that knowing where she is and what she is doing just puts your mind at ease if you know you can find her if something were to ever go wrong. You don't want to pry just to make sure she is safe and then you won't worry about her so much.

The other thing that kind of helped me is my best friend growing up. Whenever I was with him my mom did not worry because she knew that he would look after me if something were to happen. Ask her if she has a friend like that. That may help with the going to parties and what not. He wasn't a body guard but me and my mom both knew that he would protect me if he had to. Thankfully it never came to that.

If I think of anything else I post again.

[ksmsmb]

I'm 18, so i can see both sides of this.
I don't think you're overprotective at all. At my house I've always been allowed to do what I want, because I've never really given my parents reason to not trust me. They're also easy going and understand that teenagers drink and stuff. However, they always wanted to know: who I was with, where I would be and when I'd be home. I still tell them these things, just out of respect for them. My mom likes to meet the guys I date and the people I hang out with, and its just not a big deal. I've got nothing to hide.
I've hung out with an older crowd since I started high school, and the age difference doesn't really seem that big. It all depends on WHO she's hanging out with not their age. I know 16 year olds now that are more into drugs and alcohol then some 19 year olds, it all depends on the person.
So what it comes down to is no I don't think your wrong, at all. What you want to know seems reasonable.

[kw36]

ok I got a question where do you draw the line, my 16yr ran away from home and yes i called the police and her friends, but due to her age know one could force her to come home. next i find out she is staying at a homeless shelter, but after one day decides then to move in with her 17yr boyfriend. she don't want to come back to my home but she is only 16 having sex and drinking doing god knows what, and i just have to sit back and allow it to happen. she has a father who can take her in tell she is 17 but she thinks just cuz she says she wants to stay in this city she can't be moved. i layed down some strick rules around dating once i had to take her to the doc to see if she was knocked up or not. after that day i layed down the law and questioned her every move where when who even checked to make sure if she went to his place his mother was there. yes i was reading her emails. checking her facebook page, but now i am lost what the heck can i do any one.