Boyfriend IN LOVE with Pot!

[eddie_fan4]

My boyfriend of 3 years has been smoking pot for quite some time. His dad grows so he gets the pot off of him when ever he needs it.

Lately though it seems like his life is based all around pot.

-He always needs a stash
-He owns more then 3 different gadgets in ways to smoke (Vap.Pipe,Bong,Huka) and other things
-He can't do any fun event with out being high(dances, going to cafees, watching movies)
-He brings his stash everywhere with him
-Any gift he gets me now days has to do with pot
-He cannot hang out with his group of friends unless high
-He smokes every day
-I bought some joints to see if they would help with my panic attacks, and he kept pressuring me to get more and more even though I didn't need it.
-He will spend his last cents on pot items like screens or anything else
-He doesn't see smoking 2 or 3 times a day every day of the week as an addiction or a dependence.

I am worried about him because that's all he basis his life around. He has little motivation to do anything and is really lazy. He is getting bigger from the munchies but doesn't care.

He would litterly want to smoke a joint rather then have sex with me.

Is there any way I can fix this? I tried talking to him about it numerous times and he doesn't see it as a problem. His dad tried to talk to him (he was on the pot for the past 25 years of his life and all it gave him was trouble) and that didn't work.

I am not against pot or anything, I smoke the odd joint the odd time but he is taking it way to far and a lot of people around me know it, I just want to make him see it.

How do I make him see it?

[Happytobehere]

Honestly?! This AND the trouble with the college girl-friend?! IMHO dump him. Get away he is just ruining the best years of your life (you are obviously young-mid 20's enjoy them don't waste your time )

It's blunt but reading 2 things about this dude in one night makes me think you just wanted to hear it...

[mouse]

You cannot change some one's habits for them.You need for them to recognize the problem(assuming that there really is one)before anything can be done about it.If you don't like the amount of pot smoking,what are you doing then?He has to want to change for him,not for you or anyone else...

[Carol Ann]

You will never change him. You said his father talked to him about it, yet he grows it! hmmm. I'd say either you accept his way of life and if you can't do that, then move on!

[mis.vik]

My ex-boyfriend of 3 years, the one who I am convinced was the one, was just as bad a stoner as your bf sounds to be. They live, eat, breathe marijuana, and that is the way they'll be until they hit such a lowly bottom that they have no other choice but to bounce back ... only thing is .. with pot, that bottom doesn't seem to come quick enough .. he could end up being 50 before he reaches it.
I made it my personal goal to get mine off of smoking soo much, but in the end there was just no hope that he was going to change; these habits are instilled in their heads. We've been apart for over a year and a half, i still think he was the one, and he's still as much of a stoner as ever. Unless you feel like sticking it out with an unmotivated lump, you need to make the choice whether or not to stay with him ... as hard as it will be.
If you two are meant to be together, eventually you will be together That's what I'm clinging to

[mouse]

[mis.vik]

Oops, sorry for appearing vague
I have moved on with my life, and I've had relationships since (currently in one); I'm actually happier out of the relationship because I don't have drama surrounding his lifestyle choices. This doesn't mean that I don't think about him every once in a while, to ponder what could've been; and I will probably always have a soft spot for him. However, I am better off without him, attaining my career, knowing that the day I have kids they aren't going to be surrounded by a smog of pot, being in a solid realtionship with someone who will actually listen to the concerns I have.
I am very happy, and I have moved on.
Hope that gives you some clarity

*when I said that I'm clinging to fate (if we're meant to be together) I meant that if 5, 10, however many years down the road, our paths somehow cross, and it turns out he's all cleaned up and I'm single and things get rekindled ... then fate had it set for us to be together. But i'm not waiting for that to happen; if it does, it does and if it doesn't, it doesn't

[apparations]

I have the exact same problem. My boyfriend has been a pretty dedicated smoker for years and years, since before I met him. I have as well, which is probably why I accepted it so easily. However, I've changed my habits and he hasn't. For a while I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't want to look like a hypocrite. Also, he has had worse issues with other drugs prior to this so I really didn't want to somehow push him back into that behaviour. I really don't like being naggy and telling people what to do, and I figured that if he really wanted to change then he would do it on his own and didn't need my help. I ended up stewing about it for months before eventually blowing up and breaking it off with him. This actually opened the door for us communicating about this. He told me that he was willing to try to cut back but needed my help and support. So I gave him another chance. Since then, our relationship has been better, but it hasn't been easy. We are living in a small town so there isn't a lot to do here, and we are constantly surrounded by his pot smoking friends and family (his dad is also an avid pot smoker). To be honest I still don't know if it will work out in the end. But really it's a common problem that most people don't talk about. If you have talked to him and expressed that you want him to cut back and he doesn't take you seriously, then you have a problem. But let him know that you mean it, because if he chooses pot over you then it's not worth it!

[donaldporter4]

Hi eddie!

If the person ever does stop smoking dope ...you may very well find that you're not attracted to the personality that emerges ...same with yourself mis.vik.

[ChattysGuy]

They probably smoke pot in order to tolerate the nagging to stop smoking pot. If they stop smoking pot my guess is that you're on the curb. You're choice, curb or nice warm house with pot.

[InkiePinkie]

Chatty and Chattysguy:
I have sent both of you messages regarding your replies. This is your one and only request to stop insulting the members on these forums. Your negative and condescending posts are not welcome here.[/b]