her texting seems a tad obsessive...

[13Pixie13]

My boyfriend has been good friends with a girl, I will call her ‘T’ since kindergarten. About 4 years ago, before we started dating he went to visit her at university for a few days. The first night he was there she tried to have sex with him, which he refused despite her many attempts. He was angry and ended up leaving the next day. A while later she started dating a very controlling guy who would not let her talk to my boyfriend. They have since broken up and about a year ago my boyfriend and her have began to re-build their friendship.

She texts him all of the time., to the point where it seems excessive. When I would hang out with my boyfriend it felt like i was hanging otu with her too. I have talked to him about it, and he doesnt text as much when he is with me, so that is good.
But when they DO talk they will be on the phone for 45 min and then she will text him 2 minutes later. This annoys my boyfriend, he will say ‘why is she texting me, I JUST got off the phone with her” another time she was mad at him because he didn’t ask how her interview went…
I have not been a huge fan of her ever since I heard what she tried to do when he went to visit her.

This past Saturday we were all at a party together and one of my friends asked me why T was flirting with my boyfriend. I was all over the place socializing, and she was at my boyfriends side 90% of the night. Later that night I was playing with his phone and he got a text from her, so I handed the phone to my boyfriend. When he handed it back I scrolled up his texts with her and saw my name. The next morning when my boyfriend was making breakfast I went through his text messages with her…I was now curious as to what they were talking about. He has said in the past he doesn’t mind if I see his text messages, so I didn’t feel too guilty. She has texted him things like:
‘when can I see you?’
‘sweet dreams, I hope I’m in them’

this past Friday she texted him 3 times while he was at work (‘R’ is referring to me):
‘if yorue still awake after work you should swing by ’
‘what I had in mind didn’t involve R lol’
‘haha but if you need to race home to her…’

At the party, im assuming during the time she wasn’t near him she texted him ‘hey hot stuff, having fun?’

I am not worried that my boyfriend is cheating on me or hiding anything. He either doesn’t text her back when she says stuff like that, or he laughs it off and ignores it. He doesn’t encourage her. I am just angry and frustrated with her and the things she has said! Though my boyfriend doesn’t encourage her, he doesn’t tell her to stop either (I know every guy likes attention, so im assuming that is why) but what bothers me the most is she is always nice to me…I always get a hug hello and goodbye, and she is always friendly towards me. Then she turns around and sends him those types of messages.

I don’t know if I should bring it up with him. I figure I would start by saying ‘doesn’t the text messages the T sends you bother you?’
Im just worried that he will get mad at me…though he is fine if I see his messages, I don’t think he meant reading every single message. Bascially im worried he will accuse me of not trusting him….but I honestly do trust him….it is her that I don’t trust! Its driving me insane though. I cant believe she would send the things she has!

[Chatty Cat]

It's odvious that this chic wants your guy. Out of respect for you, he should be keeping her at a great distance. I mean how would he feel if you had some guy hovering around you all the time that odviously wanted to be with you.

Trust is a great thing, but how's it going to turn out if you and he have a fight and in a moment of weakness he lets her get too close? Temptations at arms reach are never a good thing.

And as for her fake friend behaviour, I'd tag her on it. Next time she comes in for the big fake hello hug, push her off you and tell her right to her face that you aren't into being friends with chics who are chasing your guy around. Then tell her to back off that behaviour or else.

Stand up for yourself Girl!! Don't take any crap from this chic or from your guy. If he won't give her up for you, then give him up!! Set some standards. You've let this nonsense go on for too long! Even your friends are trying to wake you up!! Stop being so wishy washy!! If you want your guy then claim him!!

My guy chucked a 25 year friendship because of this type of behaviour. I threw the woman and her clueless husband right out of our house! Imagine coming to our house for a party and propositioning my guy - I said as I handed her her coat, mid-party, "OK, well thanks for dropping by and acting like a whore - bye bye now! - don't hold your breath waiting for any more invites from us!!" Anyways, it doesn't matter how long this woman has been mooning over your guy, if she can't be respectful of the relationship you have with your guy, then she's gone baby!!
P.S. My guy was pretty flattered and impressed with my no nonsense approach to comanding respect for our relationship. I think your guy might appreciate you laying claim to him a bit more instead of flitting around all night oblivious to the constant advances he was no doubt fending off. Guys like to feel coveted too y'know!! Don't be letting another woman outdo you in the appreciation department. Just my advice.

[mouse]

Chattycat:some guy you have there,if he was impressed with you calling another woman a whore.

[13Pixie13]

thats a good point. i will stick around him more next time. she will hopefully back off then.

and i did talk to him about it the other night...i told him how it made me feel, and that it seemed inapropriate, and to look at it from my point of view. he agreed with me and is going to put a stop to it

[Chatty Cat]

What's the matter Mouse? Jealous that I have a man that other women want? Or maybe you're a ***** that hits on taken men too and you don't like women like me who know how to put worthless ***** in their place?

I think it's the latter. I seem to recall a post of yours where you talked about avoiding your ex because you'd want cheat on your current SO.

Yuck!!

EDITED DUE TO INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE. POSTS AND LANGUAGE SUCH AS THIS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED ON THESE FORUMS

[mouse]

[mouse]

"Laying claim to a guy"it's not a horse(or other animal)it's a human being.One shouldn't have to be by their partners side all the time.If it's a trusting relationship that is...

[Mr DQ]

Wow tension much ladies! lol

I think chatty cat is right with the coming out about her chasing her man.
As a guy, if he seems open and makes comments like that, it seems he is pretty genuine about being with you and only you.

If he doesnt text her back after comments like that, its even a better sign from what you saying about him being faithful.

I would call her out on it, but like mouse said, dont be saying names etc as might spark a fight with you two, or you and your man over their friendship. Always stick it on her, and only use what you have seen so far. Accusations might lead to mistrust and you dont want that to come off.

If anything, just sit him down, be open and be like "this is what i seen, this is what you laugh off, I trust you and see that you dont encourage it, but it hurts me to know she is disrespectful of us in this manner" Try that first..see what he does. If it continues then get in her face and beat the crap out of her lol jk

Its true, we like being the protectors of our lady and whatnot, but its very romantic/sexy to see a girl take charge and stand up for our relationship. Just make sure its solely about her when going about it though. You dont want to come off as some foolish jealous idiot.


Good luck, but i doubt you would need it!

[mouse]

[ChattysGuy]

Tell it to Oprah DQ ...idiot.

[mouse]