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Slim Down with Susan Antonacci: Week #5

Canadian Living
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Slim Down with Susan Antonacci: Week #5

Laugh those pounds away! So, it's the final stretch of our 6-Week Slim Down, and I'm walking along at a fairly brisk pace with my pal Donna, my heart beating fresh cool wintry air into my lungs, when my walking companion suddenly launches into one of her famous monologues. (She should be on the stage.) "You know Susan," says Donna between energetic puffs, "I know the secret to losing weight. In fact, I should appear on the Ellen show as her guest fitness expert. I've just figured it all out." I look sideways, inhale, try to stop grinning too widely, brace myself and wait to hear what she has to say. I share with you three interesting takes on losing weight (and I bet dollars to donuts you've never heard these ones before): 1. "Visualization: Don't hold back. The melba toast crackers are actually loaves of French bread, the kind that is chewy on the inside and crusty on the outside. The water flowing from your tap. No, not water. Champagne from France. Oh, you don't feel like champagne? Fine, pop, then." 2. "Duct tape: I'm always amazed at the things you can do with duct tape. Make a dress, repair footwear, tape your mouth shut. I like to leave a small hole in it for a straw so I can still drink my water. Er, champagne, that is." 3." Breathe in, breathe out. No, not yoga. I like to stand outside a bakery, any bakery really, and just breathe in the fumes from the outside air vent. Do not under any circumstance walk inside the store and make a purchase. That is against the rules." Half-way into our 40-minute speed-walk I am doubled over with laughter after listening to what I'm certain will form the basis of an upcoming best-seller called "Diets by Donna." And then it hit home: Of course, that's the key to exercise for me - fun, a bit of humour, enjoying the moment. So I've resolved from now on to ensure there's a dose of laughter into each and every workout. Of course, I'm by no means the first person to suggest that tickling the funny-bone of weight-loss is a healthy matter. Wasn't it Mae West who said: " I never worry about diets.  The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond." [caption id="attachment_2325" align="aligncenter" width="360" caption="Be serious about your health, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun while you're losing weight!"] Be serious about your health, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun while you're losing weight![/caption]

Here are my 5 favourite diet jokes to give you a boost: If you don't have a Donna in your life, try one of these on for size when you need a little levity during your workout: 1. "When we lose twenty pounds...we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have!  We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty." - Woody Allen 2. "Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake." - Author Unknown 3. "Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge." - Don Kardong 4. "I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days." - Totie Fields 5. "I'm on a seafood diet.  I see food and I eat it." - Author Unknown My own (serious) update: I'm down 1.3 lbs this week. A little weight-loss, a lot of laughter...it's working for me. How's your Slim Down going?
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Slim Down with Susan Antonacci: Week #5

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