As a child, I used to wonder what happened to the couple after they walked off into the sunset at the end of a Hollywood movie. As an adult, I know that sunset strolls and happy endings take lots of hard work and planning. Here are 10 life situations couples may face...post credit roll...and some ideas about how to keep the music playing!
1. Fighting fatigue… careers, children, caring for aging parents and on it goes. Life's responsibilities take every ounce of creative energy that we have, often short-changing our couple time. Five fatigue busters: Good nutrition, proper rest, adequate exercise, recharging social times as a couple and grounding spiritual practices.
2. The battle of the budget…Stretching finances, unforeseen expenses, different perspectives on money and power differentials can all cause feelings of hurt and insecurity. Be responsible and be fair. If necessary, involve an objective third party to help establish and monitor a mutually workable budget.
3. Failure to honour…Our primary relationships are about as healthy as we are. Shaky self esteem, poor physical fitness, depression, untreated illness and unrealistic expectations can sometimes lead to poor coping mechanisms like addictions and even affairs. We have the right and the responsibility to take good care of ourselves, our partner and our relationship. As needed, seek the best medical and emotional care that is available.
4. Friendly invasions… As an adult, your new, chosen family needs to be your first priority and demands your strongest loyalty. Does your spouse take second place to other people in your life? Who gets your time, your energy and therefore your respect? A healthy and undivided home, surrounded by appropriate boundaries, allows for the greatest enjoyment of friends and extended family members.
5. Words that wound…While differing opinions are necessary in healthy relationships, criticism, hostile humor, avoidance and dismissal will surely poison even the most committed unions. As you talk to or about your spouse are you building strong connections through your words, your facial expressions and your body language or demolishing your own happiness? Do yourself a favour, love your spouse!
Page 1 of 2 - Learn five more marriage zappers on page 2.
